Coffee TimeMachine (tm)

This morning I walked into work, after having not a great night (mostly because someone woke up with night terrors again, and I wound up sleeping in an Ikea POÄNG chair - and not even one of the NICE POÄNG chairs, no, we're talking the 79$ POÄNG wonder chair), and a rather disappointing morning, I was thrilled to find a nice, hot, steaming cup of Tim Hortons coffee sitting on my desk.

Image from:  http://www.timhortons.com/

 But my thrill and excitement came to a screeching halt... Who put a coffee on my desk?  Why is it there?  Who wants something?  Nat is off on vacation, and Mike only drinks tea... there isn't anyone else at work who likes me enough to give me a coffee.

I was perplexed to say the least.

Don't get me wrong, I love coffee!  I would drink almost any coffee, and then that's when a horrible thought entered my mind.  What if, someone, was using my coffee obsession to kill me?  They knew that I would drink any coffee left on my desk, and they could have poisoned the cup!  To be honest, they could have put a package of nails in a coffee cup and I would have probably drank it.  Unfortunately, the number of people wanting to "do away" with me at work out numbers the people who want to be nice and simply buy me a cup of coffee.

So now I'm conflicted.  I don't know where the coffee came from, who gave it to me, why, or even if it's safe to drink!

So I did the only sensible thing I could do... I picked up the possibly life ending cup of coffee, and went to have my morning coffee with the guys.

Me:  Mike, hey, thanks for the coffee.
Mike:  It wasn't me.  You know I don't go to Tim Hortons.
Me:  Yea, I know.  Nat is on vacation, and no one else likes me enough to buy me a coffee.  So I was hoping it was from you.
Mike:  So you don't know who left it at your desk?
Me:  Nope.
Mike:  Maybe Nat left it for you.  He came in early, while on vacation, snuck into your cubical and left you a coffee.
Me:  Hmmmmm, I don't think so.
Mike:  Maybe Nat used the time machine.  On Monday, you did mention that you forgot your change for the coffee machine.  So Nat probably came back in time, and left you a coffee.
Me:  So we finally built the time machine!
Mike:  Looks like it!
Me:  Well then, I'm outta here... hold on... I'm sure my future self will be here any second... waaaaaait for it... dang.
Mike:  Okay, so not future Nat?
Me:  Maybe we got the cloaking device working!  Nat could be sitting right here beside us, cloaked!  We would never know.
*Mike and I both start swinging our arms wildly around trying to find cloaked Nat*
Mike:  Nope, I don't think he is here.
Me:  So time machine is still the best explanation as to how this coffee magically appeared at my desk this morning.
Mike:  Yea, I guess so.  But why, if we built a time machine in the future, didn't future us come back and make us all rich?
Me:  Hmmm, good question.  But I think the answer is pretty obvious.  If I was in on the design of the time machine, you know I would have designed it to only send Coffee back though time... not people.  Why would I want to come back in time, I've already been there.  BUT, maybe while I was there, I didn't have a coffee!  Ahhhh, see.  That would be useful.  Then, even in the past, when I forgot my coffee money, my future self could send my past self coffee!  247 coffee cup holders in the time machine, no room for a person.
*thinking*
Me:  You know what, don't let me design the time machine.
Mike:  *to Andrew*  You know, we could all start freaking him out by randomly putting coffee cups for him all over the place at random times.
Andrew:  Ummmm, yeeees.  Uh, I hate to talk about work, but did you see my email?  Because your message this morning didn't make any sense.
Me:  Yea, but that was pre-coffee.
Andrew:  Ah, I figured.
Me:  Let me drink the future coffee here, and I'll get back to you with a more intelligent answer.
Mike:  So you are going to actually drink that coffee?  Even though you don't know where it came from?
Me:  Well, I figure, if it's going to kill me, then my future self could not have sent it back to me... since I'd have been dead.
Mike:  We really need to figure out this space time continuum thing, because this is getting confusing.

Aaaaanyway, the coffee was great, I'm not dead.  So I'm assuming it was safe.  How is this pertaining to adoption?  Well, I guess metaphorically, our love is the coffee to our adopted children.  Something they need, something they crave, want, dream about, long for... or at least that's how I feel about coffee... but they don't know if they can trust it yet.

While I was lost in the confusion of how the coffee came to be, I was unable to enjoy the coffee.  It wasn't until I decided that fate be danged, poisoned or not, I was going to drink my coffee, and I was going to enjoy it!  Then and only then, once I let go of my fears, was I able to enjoy the coffee.

Maybe our adopted children can't trust the coffee offered to them, because they have so many things they have to let go of, before they can embrace the coffee.

And if I am my child's coffee, then Lord help me, I want to be something better than Tim Hortons.