I Still Got This...

I should really know by now.  I mean, you go out, you post something like this, feeling all "Gods in Control" ... and then you get a chance to back up your words, with action.  I mean, don't get me wrong!  Oh no, I LOVE the opportunity to grow, and to make sure that what I say, I live out and believe.

... late Friday night...
Wife:  ... okay, thanks.  Good bye.
Me:  Was that the adoption agency?
Wife:  Yea.  They said last month, Lukai had to go to the hospital.
Me:  What?  Why?
Wife:  Ummm, I don't know.  They said, something about a 2nd Special Need which was previously not diagnosised.  They are sending us an email about it now.
Me:  Okay, hold on, let me check the email.
*BING!  You've got mail!*
Wife:  It's all in Chinese!  *grabs the phone*
Me:  I'll start translating it.
Wife:  Hey, the email is all in Chinese.
Adoption Agency:  I know, we're trying to find our translator.  She is not in.
Wife:  Okay, thanks.  Bye.
Me:  Why do they need a translator?  Our adoption agency is Chinese!
Wife:  It's all medical terms.  They need the medical terms translated.
Me:  It says he was diagnoised with Vitiligo.
Wife:  Isn't that the same thing Micheal Jackson had?
Me:  It is a depigmentation of the skin...
Wife:  Oh, good.  So it's only cosmetic.
Me: ... which is caused by thyroid conditions...
Wife:  Oh, well, you can get medical help for that.
Me: ... or, auto immune deficiencies...
Wife:  Oh.
Me:  Or, other reasons.  And apparently, it has spread since August from a "soya bean sized spot", to "the rest of his body".  Now that is a chinese to english translation, by me.  So... take it for what it is worth.

A picture of vitiligo on someones hands, from:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitiligo

What followed that phone conversation has been about 48 hours so far of an emotional roller coaster ride - having a sick child is one thing, having a sick child on the other side of the world is a whole different thing.

But even during this emotional roller coaster ride, there was one constant.  Well, maybe two.
Number 1)  God still "has this"
Number 2)  We are still adopting Lukai.

An auto immune problem, or a thyroid condition, or even cancer (oh yes, right, vitiligo is often a missdiagnoises for a certain form of leukemia) can strike at any time.  Is our love for Lukai based upon his health status?  No.  If one of our other children all of a sudden were struck with cancer, or a thyroid problem, would we stop loving them?  Of course not.

Lukai is our son - and my wife said it best, "Us NOT adopting Lukai isn't even on the table.  It isn't even an option."

See, when our Adoption Agency phoned us, we were not so much worried about Lukais physical looks, his skin condition, or even cancer.  We can deal with that once he is here with us.  I think they (or maybe China) was thinking we would want to back out of the adoption.  What we are worried about is IF China (or the Ontario government, or anyone else) is going to "cancel" the adoption.  See, there was a different little boy we tried to adopt - had his referral and were moving forward with, when China pulled the child from the adoption process.  Someone somewhere had decided that that little boy was not for us and our family.

So are we worried about the vitiligo?  Of course.  Depending on how bad it is, this could be a big deal for Lukai to have to work though.  Are we worried that it might be cancer or something serious?  Of course.   It would be foolish to ignore any diagnosis of a medical condition.  Are we worried that someone, somewhere might try to stop the adoption?  Absolutely.

But see #1 above.

We loved Lukai yesterday, when he didn't have vitiligo, and we love Lukai today, even with Vitiligo.

So what do we need?  Prayer.  Prayer for us, prayer for Lukai, and prayer for all the directors, social workers, and government officials involved not to panic and try to stop the adoption.  What does Lukai need?  Part of me wants to scream "US!  He needs a home!  Someone to take care of him.", but he has a foster family, and hopefully he is being well cared for.  God knows what he needs - and God will meet those needs, either through us, or through someone else.

All we can do, is hold on, and push through to bring Lukai home... with or without Vitiligo.

Now... if you don't mind... I'm in the middle of a conversation with God, and I'm trying to explain to him what "I got this" means.  I think he has a very different interpretation of this than I do... I suppose that is a good thing.