Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Welcome home... Stereo?!

Yes, a stereo... but not MY stereo...

... re-wind about 2 years...
Wife:  I want an iPod!
Me:  Really?!  But you don't like music.
Wife:  What dose music have to do with an iPod?  I got to use my friends at the school to look up bible verses, and totally loved it!
Me:  Okay.  *YAY!  She is finally starting to embrace the technologically enhanced home I've been trying to create!*

... some time passes ...
Me:  Hey, I got you something!
Wife:  What is it?!  OOoooh!!! An iPod!
Me:  Yup, and the most expensive one I could find!
Wife:  What can it do?!
Me:  What?  What do you mean what can it do?!
Wife:  Well, I don't know what they do.
Me:  But you asked for one.
Wife:  That doesn't mean I know what it is for though.
Me:  Well, you can play music with it.
Wife:  Can I make phone calls?
Me:  No, that would be the iPhone.
Wife:  But I want to make phone calls with it.
Me:  Okay, ummmm.. here let me set it up on the WiFi network... and then I'll install Skype on it... then you can make phone calls.
Wife:  YAY!  And can I send emails and stuff?!  Look at pictures?  OH!  Email the pictures?!
Me:  Uh, yes... were you really wanting a computer?  We have a couple of them.
Wife:  Oh no, computers are too hard to use.  I just want to click on a picture and say send!
Me:  But, we have Google Picasa on our computer.  That's what you do.
Wife:  But on the iPod it is easier!
Me:  Okay.  I'll download all the photos to the iPod, set up Skype, make sure its on the network, get your Bible application installed... anything else?  Oh, and I'll put on the music.
Wife:  Oh I don't need music.  I'm not a music person.  *remember this line*

... fast forward a couple years and 112 days of waiting ...
Wife:  ITS TO HARD TO LISTEN TO MUSIC AROUND HERE!  Why can't I just put in a CD and press play, or turn on a radio!  You've made it too hard to do anything!
Me:  Me?!  What?!  I got you an iPod.  Its super easy to listen to music on that.
Wife:  I gave the iPod to K.
Me:  Okay, well, you can put a CD in the computer, it will play automatically.
Wife:  The computer is too hard to use.
Me:  You can play music on your Palm Pre - its just like the iPod.
Wife:  I just want to turn something on and hear music.
Me:  Okay... *why is a "I'm not a music person" getting upset about not having music?*

... so after much soul searching, I come home with the 'perfect' solution... 
Me:  Look!  A new stereo!  It has a CD player on it, and AM/FM radio just like you asked.  You can put in a CD and play it.  Or listen to the radio.
Wife:  But I don't WANT to listen to CDs!  No one buys CDs anymore.  Everyone just downloads the music from iTunes and stuff.
Me:  But you don't.  You say its too hard.  You said this morning you wanted a CD player.
Wife:  I said I wanted something LIKE a CD player.
Me:  Okay, look, I've added all your songs to your Palm Pre - and it can connect wirelessly to the stereo.  And now you click on your music button, you can play by Artist, Album, Genre ...
Wife:  Oh thats too hard!
Me:  OR, you can just press Play All.  Then everything will play.
Wife:  Fine.  But I have to do what, keep plugging this INTO the stereo!
Me:  No, its wireless.  Listen, the music is already playing.
Wife:  But I don't like this song.
Me:  Then go to the next song.
Wife:  I want a play list.
Me:  Okay, you have to make a play list.
Wife:  I want it to have only the songs I like.
Me:  You can do that.
Wife:  Why is it playing another song I don't like!?
Me:  *siiiiiiigh*
Wife:  Well, you must be happy... you finally have your stereo.

Oooooh, no.  That is NOT my stereo.  Look at the picture up to again.  That is NOT my stereo.
MY stereo will have to have its picture taken by the International Space Station because it is sooooo big!
When I play AC/DC Thunder Struck, the Earth Quake sensors in Japan will be registering an 11 on the richter scale!  That little black thing up there... that is NOT my stereo.
My stereo will be able to stop a bullet for me.
My stereo will be able to be used to help correct the gravitational pull on the moon.
My stereo will be able to make the world spin backwards and allow me to reverse time to take the van keys with me to work so my wife can no longer get to the humane society, 3 days ago.
THAT is my stereo.

I guess I've been waiting a long time for a stereo.
Dreaming of a stereo.
Seeing my friends get stereos.
Waiting... where is my stereo.

And when a stereo entered my life... what was my response?
Its not good enough.
Its not the stereo I wanted.

I wonder... is that maybe why me attaching with Ping took so long.
Was she dreaming of a Dad?
Seeing her friends get Dads?
Waiting for her Dad?
And when her Dad walked in... she got... me.
I think it would be pretty foolish and arrogant to think that I was exactly the father she was expecting... if she even wanted one.
Maybe it wasn't abject terror or rage which was the stumbling block for her.
Maybe I just wasn't what she was dreaming about.

My wife's stereo is pretty cool though.  The bluetooth connectivity is awesome, and it has USB ports on it, and a Card Reader for different types of media from a computer.  Its a pretty cool little box.  Even if it can't help me travel back in time.  Maybe my expectations for a stereo were a little un-realistic.  Maybe Ping I need to let go of my expectations stereo and embrace what I do have*.

* == that would be, 1 cat, 1 dog, 2 budgies, 4 children, 1 on the way, and a wife who is driving me crazy

1 comment:

  1. Wow, if it playing "Thunder Struck" will register 11 on the richtometer, imagine what "Crazy Train" by Ozzie would do! ;)