Thursday, January 27, 2011

What is WRONG with you Women!?!?

Thanks Jenny for the Congee!  Brown rice and beans!  Yum!

So my Congee Challenge has started today.  And maybe not a moment too soon... judging by the comments of some of my Chinese FEMALE co-workers and friends.

... a couple weeks ago...
Friend:  Hey, why you never shave?
Me:  I do shave.
Friend:  No you don't.
Me:  I do, I shaved today.  It grows back.
Friend:  I don't like it.  Cuz you look dirty.
Me:  Geeee, thanks.
Friend:  And fat.  Maybe old too.  Like my Dad.
Me:  What?  Why would you say that?!

... last week ...
Me:  Hey.
Co-Worker #1 (CW#1):  Hi.
Co-Worker #2 (CW#2):  (( something something in chineses ))
Me:  Whoah, slow down.  I coudln't follow that.
*CW1 + 2 laugh*
CW#2:  You no understand me?
Me:  No, say it again slower...
CW#1:  She say you look round.
Me:  Oh, is that some kinda of Chinese metaphor thing.  Like, fish represents extra or something like that.
CW#1:  No.  Uh, it mean, you fat.
Me:  What?!  Why would you say that?!
CW#1:  You should be happy!  She good friend.  She tell truth!
Me:  Oh she ain't my friend no more.

... yesterday ...
Co-Worker #3:  So I hear you are eating Congee for three days.
Me:  Yup.  Raise awareness for orphans in China and stuff.
CW#3:  Oh dat good.
Me:  Yea, I think its a really good fundraiser.  Good cause right.
CW#3:  Yea, and you know, good for you.  Maybe you know, you be less round.
Me:  Really?!  Round?!  What is WRONG with you WOMEN!

1 down, 8 more meals to go...
Apparently, there is something wrong with these Chinese women who think I'm "round".  It couldn't be that I'm actually... "round".  No no, it MUST be something wrong with them...
Okay, maybe I'm more round than I was 10 years ago... but c'mon!
This is Canada!  We don't tell people they are round.  Noooo, we LIE to them!  We're too polite to tell the truth!

Maybe it is a husband thing, but we learn there are times when you have to lie.  When you are expected to lie.  Where if you don't lie, you will be dead.

The typical questions like "Dose this dress make me look fat?"  Appropriate answers are "No", "Not at all", and "Oh heck no baby!  You look foxy!"  INappropriate answers are "Baby don't blame the dress", and taking more than 2 seconds to answer.

Yes, thats 217.5 pounds of Canadian Yeti on that scale... *siigh*

But coming back to the congee thing... we did weigh myself this morning before the congee diet started, and we will weigh myself when it ends.  Maybe this will be a good thing, and I can be less round.


  1. That's funny Mr. Berzenji!

    That congee does not look like Dad's, but it looks yummy!

  2. I like congee made with turkey stock. Top with sesame oil, peanuts and green onion. Probably not SWI fare though...

  3. Oh My! Well, maybe this is TMI, but my ex - husband is from Puerto Rico. I love his family and all of the friends we would visit back in those days, on trips to PR, but they always had to comment on everyone's weight. It would go like this, "Hola! Mucho tiempo! Ohhh, gordiiiita" (poke poke poke). Or "ohhhh que flaca!" Which roughly translates into "Hello! It's been a long time! Oh you're a little chunky!" as the poke your sides. Or "ohh how skinny!" Don't be fooled, being skinny is not really a complement in PR. Nor is being fat for that matter. But I think they like if you are just a tiny bit "round". :) One thing I did take from that, although horrified often times in the beginning, was to lighten up! (no pun intended). To not be so uptight about our weight and obsess about it here in the U.S. They never feel offense from each others comments. They would just laugh and agree!