Friday, September 24, 2010

Chainsaw Encouragement

Wife:  You can totally cut down that tree!
Me:  Really?  I donno.  Its pretty big.  And I've never really cut down a tree before.
Wife:  You can totally do it!  Remember when you and your buddies took down the tree at our old place?
Me:  Yea, we tried to rent a chain saw, but the store was closed.  So we attacked the tree with a shovel, a hatchet, an ice pick and an ax!  Good times!  Good times!
Wife:  But you DID get it cut down and you didn't kill anyone, or break anything.
Me:  Yea, you know what, you're right!  I CAN totally cut down that tree!  Or, and I'm just throwing this out there... it IS the long weekend, and it IS my Birthday.  How about I actually just rest this weekend.  You know, relax!  I'm just saying!
Wife:  I'm sorry, did you say something after "I can totally cut down that tree"?
Me:  Ummmm, no?
Wife:  Good, because I thought I heard something about not wanting to do it.
Me:  Nooooo, why wouldn't I want to cut down a tree!
Wife:  Maybe you want to cut down MORE than 1 tree, if you know what is good for you.  I'm just saying.

Cue the Eye Of The Tiger theme song, as I head off to the chain saw rental store...

Me:  I'd like to rent a chain saw!
Clerk:  Sure.  How big do you need it?
Me:  Well, the tree is about THIIIIIIIS big!
Clerk:  Uh, we don't have a saw that big.
Me:  Oh.  OH!  Wait!  Thats brilliant!  If I can't rent a chain saw, then I don't have to cut down the tree, and I can spend the rest of the weekend relaxing!  Brilliant!  Thank you!
Clerk:  No problem.
Me:  *calls wife*  Hey, sorry baby, I can't rent a chain saw.  They don't have one big enough.  Well, no.  I mean, yes.  Well, I can.  I thought maybe do it next weekend.  Oh no.  Uh-huh.  Right.  You STILL think I can do it.  Alright, well... I'll see what I can do.  There IS another chain saw rental store in the next town... yes, you do want me to drive to the next town.  I understand.  Love you.

Cue more Eye of The Tiger as I drive to the next chain saw rental store...

Me:  I'd like to rent a chain saw!
Clerk:  Sure, how big.
Me:  Uh, THIIIIIS big!
Clerk:  We got that!
Clerk:  Have you ever fell a tree that big before.
Me:  Um, no.
Clerk:  Do you have any idea what you are doing?
Me:  Um, no.  But me and my buddies took down a smaller tree with nothing but a shovel, an ice pick, a hatchet, and an ax!
Clerk:  Here, you may want to watch this instructional video... more than once.
Me:  Great!  I've totally got this!  Ummmm... how do I start the chain saw?
Clerk:  Sir, are you sure you want to do this?
Me:  Yes'ir!  My wife thinks I can do it!
Clerk:  You know the Chainsaw is the most dangerous thing you can operate with out a license?  Are you absolutely SURE you want to try this?
Me:  Well no, I'd rather not.  But I figure I have a better chance with the chainsaw, than I do with my wife.  If I come home, telling my wife I can NOT cut down the tree... well, then I'm dead for sure.  With the chainsaw, I figure I've got a 50/50 chance of survival.
Clerk:  Okay, just try not to cut off your arm or leg.

And just like that, I walked out with some massive chain saw, and spent my afternoon felling trees.  I think its funny how we have to wear Seat Belts in cars, Helmets on Bikes, we even have Safety Belts in Shopping Carts for our kids... and yet, any idiot can walk into a chain saw rental store and rent a chain saw, no questions asked.  :-)  Well, except "Do you have a credit card."  They do ask about that.

But what exactly dose me chain sawing have to do with adoption?  Glad you asked!

See, I honestly did not think I could do it.  I did need someone to encourage me, someone to build me up, to lie* to me and tell me that I can do it, even though common sense and my sadly neglected survival instinct was telling me that it was a bad idea and that I should stay away from it.

With my wife encouraging me (encouraging me unselfishly might I add, because "I could have DIED" while cutting down that tree, and yet she was still willing to let me do it - and what an inconvenience for my wife if I were to have died), I was able to achieve something which I previously deemed unachievable.

We are encouraging our Ping to embrace her new family, to love life, to feel safe, to cuddle with her Yeti father.  These are some of the areas where we are encouraging her.

Maybe there is a metaphorical massive General Sherman tree in her life that she still needs to cut down and tear out...

...and if she needs someone to help her cut that big sucker down... well... we will all be there.  Shovel and Ice Pick in hand.  :-)

* == My wife puts the LIE in "beLIEve"


  1. AWESOME! I wish I was there to help you out, I love chain saws, not that I have any idea how to use them either, but they just seem so cool (I mean that in a non-psychopathic way).

    Love Julio

  2. Too bad I missed it. I may still have the hatchet and/or pickaxe from the last adventure. Oh well, another time, perhaps.

    And now for some more encouragement... you CAN play Bad Company 2 until the wee hours of the morning, and still get up to go to work the next day!