Talk Nice...

... but I talk nice!  I TALK NICE!

Aaah, perspective!  I guess, considering how Ping was spoken to previously, and how she spoke to us (even just a couple months ago), in her head, she IS speaking nicely.  In my head, I think she would have tried to stab me, had she but a knife in her hand.

But surely I never have perspective problems... do I?
Hmmmmmm... (begin wave-y flash back sequence)
A while ago, I got into trouble at work for being AWESOME... here, let me explain...


Computer Female Voice: "Welcome to our internal directory! Please say the name of the person you wish to talk to."
Me: "Yang Gao"
(pause)
Computer Male Voice: "There is more than one person with that name. I am unable to connect you. You will be transferred to Reception."
... silence...
Computer Female Voice: "Welcome to our internal directory! Please say the name of the person you wish to talk to."
Me: "Yang Gao"
(pause)
Computer Male Voice: "There is more than one person with that name. I am unable to connect you. You will be transferred to Reception."
... silence ...
Computer Female Voice: "Welcome to our internal directory! Please say the name of the person you wish to talk to."
Me: "You've got to be kidding me! Yang Gao"
Computer Female Voice: "Did you want to talk to MC Hammer?"
Me: "No. Wait, can you do that?! Cuz yea, I'ld LOVE to talk to MC Hammer!"
Computer Female Voice: "Did you want to talk to the Pope?"
Me: "Oh heck No, Hammer was WAY cooler."
Computer Female Voice: "Please say the name of the person you wish to talk to."
Me: "Yang Gao."
(pause)
Computer Male Voice: "There is more than one person with that name. I am unable to connect you. You will be transferred to Reception."

Me: "OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!!!"


(end wave-y flashback)


You could see, I was stuck in an infinite loop and there was no way out.  So I did the only sensible thing.  Well, the only sensible thing by my perspective.
I took the above text, and sent it via email to our "Telecomm" group (which manages our internal directory), with a note saying that there was a loop, and it could be fixed by adding a secondary prompt as to "which Yang Gao you wish to speak".

The Telecomm group tech support sent the email to thier manager.
... who sent it to thier manager.
   ... who sent it to the VP of Engineering.


... now, you might think that the VP of Engineering would be HAPPY to have someone in the "working class" actually care about making sure that our phone system is able to connect people to their desired vocal destination.  That maybe someone in the working class was sensitive enough to bring a problem to the attention of others without screaming, yelling, or lashing out at the poor service tech trying to maintain the voice system.


But nope.  In this VPs understanding of the world around him (his perspective), a "working class" slob spent "far to long typing an email and not being productive".  In fact, by this VPs perspective, I've wasted company time... wasted resources... and now, that VP is getting his underling, to get his underling, to get HIS underling (who happens to be MY manager), to come and yell at me (now that was a waste of time).


Now, this VP could have broadened his PERSPECTIVE a little more, and noticed that the email had originated at 1:30am.  Not exactly normal working hours.  This VP could have then been happy that some working class slob was ever so committed to the company as to work till the weeeeee hours of the morning to try to fix things.  This VP could have done many things... but his perspective limited his view.
Unfortunately, one of the things the VP DID do, was look me up in the company phone book.

There I was.  Listed right under "B", the listing looked something like this:
Photo: (Handsome picture of a stunning 30 something year old, yes me, shut it Andrea!)
Name: Adrian Berzenji
Phone: 613-###-####
Email: xxx@xxx.ca
Title:  Awesome!


Yes... my job title at work, was AWESOME!  Good thing he did not look me up the previous week when I was "Ruler of the UNIVERSE!".


Care to guess how this VPs perspective viewed my "awesomeness"?  :-)


So, AFTER 3 layers of management got involved... after ANOTHER report on my File (poor HR, wasting all their time tracking the "stupid" things I do at work)... after discussions with Me, the Union, character references and all that...


... I got in trouble for the following:

• Wasting Company Time
• and being Awesome!

Now, MY perspective on this whole thing is that:

• the VP wasted FAR more time on this than I did (typing 127 words per minute allows for some quick emails (and blogs))
• the email was sent OFF hours (sent after I was done work, at almost 2am)
• I really AM awesome... you can ask anyone (except Andrea)
• I still would like to talk to MC Hammer

So what I've learned is that:

• I will not send emails to co-workers
• If I DO find a problem, I'll send a scathing email insulting the competency of people and thier work
• The email will be less than 127 words to ensure that I was able to send it in less than 1  minute

But what dose all this rambling have to do with Adoption?


Nothing, except that Ping (or any child) already perceives the world around them, shaped uniquely by their own experiences.  And we as parents, have to be careful how we interact with them to make sure that what we are wanting them to learn, is what they are learning.  And to remember, that they may view things very differently than ourselves.


Far to often, it is far to easy to forget that others can see the world differently than ourselves.  


:-)