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Wife, un-impressed by me... |
Something about blah blah blah.
Followed up by some guilt.
And maybe some new words to expand Pings ever growing English vocabulary.
She felt, I was implying, that maybe I was implying that she was maybe just a little more materialistic about the Red Plate than she should have been.
Well good, thought I! Although my intent was never to point out that she was maybe just a little obsessive about this Red Plate, maybe she learnt a valuable lesson about what really is and is not important in life. :-) Not so. Apparently, she felt the plate really was that important, and I'm a moron. :-)
But thats not why I'm here today. No sir. I'm here because it was far to easy for me to write about a Red Plate breaking when it ISN'T a material possession I hold as dearly as my wife did.
So, I'll throw in some context for us Husbands out there, and re-post the Red Plate Special as if it were happening to us Men...
Voice from Heaven (VfH): Did you mean it?
Me: Mean what?
VfH: Did you mean it when you said Material Things in this world don't matter?
Me: Absolutely!
VfH: Good.
Me: Uh-oh. Good? Why?
VfH: Waaaaaaait for it.... *CRASH*
Me: What did you boys break?!Boys: Uh... nothing?
Me: WHAT?!?!?! MY STEREO!!! OH YOU BOYS ARE SOOOOO DEA.... oh wait... I still don't have a STEREO!
Okay... uhhhh... let me try again.
Voice from Heaven (VfH): Did you mean it?
Me: Mean what?
VfH: Did you mean it when you said Material Things in this world don't matter?
Me: Absolutely!
VfH: Good.
Me: Uh-oh. Good? Why?
VfH: Waaaaaaait for it.... *CRASH*
Me: What did you boys break?!Boys: Uh... nothing?
Me: WHAT?!?!?! MY TV - MY 25 YEAR OLD SONY TRINITRON CRT TUBE TV WITH THE COLLAPSING SCREEN?!?! OH YOU BOYS ARE SOOOOO DEA.... oh wait... that TV wasn't even worth stealing. In fact, good job boys! Now I can go buy one! I mean, your MOM sets the couches on the curb, and then is SHOCKED when they disappear, and we HAVE to go buy a new one. Thanks boys!
Okay, well... maybe the TV wasn't a great example... uuuuummmmm...
Voice from Heaven (VfH): Did you mean it?
Me: Mean what?
VfH: Did you mean it when you said Material Things in this world don't matter?
Me: Absolutely!
VfH: Good.
Me: Uh-oh. Good? Why?
VfH: Waaaaaaait for it.... *CRASH*
Me: What did you boys break?!Boys: Uh... nothing?
Me: WHAT?!?!?! MY CAR?!?! My little piece of gutless Saturn Ion that I've TRIED to get rid of so I can buy a SPORTS car! Good job boys! Lets go Car Shopping!
... grrrrr... okay... there must be SOMETHING that I struggle with materialistically about.
Voice from Heaven (VfH): Did you mean it?
Me: Mean what?
VfH: Did you mean it when you said Material Things in this world don't matter?
Me: Absolutely!
VfH: Good.
Me: Uh-oh. Good? Why?
VfH: Waaaaaaait for it.... *CRASH*
Me: What did you boys break?!Boys: Uh... nothing?
Me: WHAT?!?!?! MY COMPUTER?! OH you are SO DEAD! No, I MEAN IT!! Start RUNNING... you've got a 30 second head start, and thats IT!!! Your mother may have brought you into this world, but so help me I'm going to take you OUT!!!
AAaaaaahhhh... okay... well... right... see there, I get the struggle my wife is having. :-)
On an unrelated note (since when has ANYTHING on this blog ever been related), my "todo" list is growing at home... growing FAR too fast! We are now rebuilding the deck (I'll try to post pictures later). And we are still talking about adding another room to the house, and converting the basement into something more usable (and when I say "we", I really mean my wife. I'm just trying to pay for it all).
Aaaaah, the Basement! Finally! My domain! I have suffered for too long with no Stereo, TV, etc and my Wife has decided to have mercy and I shall finally create my MAN-CAVE! I can get my Theater room set up in there! Like my buddies...
He has a freaking Pinball machine! A 120" screen! LEATHER RECLINERS!!! Oh man! What a theater room... if we are re-doing the basement, this is TOTALLY what we're getting.
... oh... hold on, the wife is trying to get my attention. I can tell by the way she is throwing my clothes out of the bedroom window again.
Whats that? Oh. Basement. Right. Oh. Really?! No. I guess thats a good idea. I mean, its no theater room... what about a... oh... no. Not that either huh. No pool tab... uh-huh. Right. Moron. I get it.
Okay, so APPARENTLY, I do think my wife is nesting again...
And APPARENTLY, she wants to turn the basement into a bedroom...
You know, maybe with all this adoption stuff, and 5 kids... er, sorry, only 4 kids... maybe I'm never going to be able to afford the fancy Theater room like my buddy Sylvain, Boat, Cottage on the Lake, etc. But at least I'll have my children to love me when I get old.
... oh, hold on, the wife is trying to get my attention again.
Uh-huh. Right. No I'm pretty sure the kids love me. Why are you laughing?! They will TOTALLY love me when I'm old! What?! Who said I was old now?! Oh C'MON!!!
:-)
NOTE: This post is in no way meant to depict actual events which happened between me and my wife. Or, to depict wives in a negative way at all. Um, nothing is true... except that I made her mad, and uh, she dose want to add rooms to the house... and uh, she did call me a moron, and I'm NOT getting a new Stereo, TV, or Theater room soon... Oh, and we ARE building a deck, and stuff... But other than that, nothing is true!