Monday, June 21, 2010

It should be me!

... Sunday afternoon while driving to a friends place for a fathers day bar-b-q ...

Wife: What if money wasn't an issue?
Me: Oh sure. If money wasn't an issue, I'd totally want to adopt again!
Wife: Really?!
Me: Yea...
Wife: Hmmmm...
Me: And you know, since we've adopted already, there are ways we could reduce the cost of the adoption. Most of the fees are set, and you can't really change them, but we wouldn't need the PRIDE course again...
Wife: Un-huh...
Me: ... and we wouldn't ALL have to go to China again. Just 1 round way ticket instead of 3.
Wife: Yea, travel was a big part of the cost...
Me: And you know, if only one of us were to travel... it should be...
Wife/Me: Me.

... awkward silence ...

Wife: *laughing uncontrollably*
Me: Hey now! Yes, me. We're both great parents! You only beat me by 2 points in the Social Workers Assessment of our parenting skills! And I'm pretty sure thats cuz you cheated, or you get bonus points for being a girl!
Wife: Yes, we both are great parents... but... You?! Really?! YOU?!
Me: Yes, me.
Wife: Why in the WORLD should it be YOU going to China to adopt our 2nd other than the "you really really really like China and want to go back"?!
Me: For many reasons! The only reason for me NOT to go by myself is that our new daughter may reject me.
Wife: Well thats a BIG reason!

... silence ...

Me: Yea, but there is a chance that she could reject you too! There are many children who decide to reject the mother and bond with the father 1st. In fact, I'd say its like a 50/50 chance...
Wife: REALLY?! You! C'mon! Between the two of us, any child would be more scared of you... they SHOULD be more scared of me... but they aren't. Some... big... Yetti...
Me: Well I'd cut my hair and shave.
Wife: *laughing* Oh well, OK then.
Me: Really!
Wife: No.

... thinking ...

Me: Okay, who traveled better?
Wife: *siiiiigh* You.
Me: Right, and who handled the food and culture better?
Wife: You.
Me: Un-huh, and who can speak at least the basics of our new child's language?
Wife: You.
Me: And who had the energy to keep up with all the stuff going on in China?
Wife: You.
Me: And who was in bed crying, wanting to come home, and exhausted?
Wife: Me, but I'd be better the next time!
Me: Riiiiight. Other than the chance of my terrifying our new child, I am the way better choice.
Wife: Yea, but terrifying our child is kind of a big thing. She will be traumatized!

... thinking...

Me: You know... the only reason Ping rejected me is because she had you. She had to choose someone to love, and someone to feel control over. She was simply trying to control her environment as best she could in the midst of massive change.
Wife: Right, the only reason she rejected you is because I was there.
Me: Right!
Wife: So, I'll bring your picture so our new child can reject you that way, and then bond to me.
Me: Ah, so you DO agree that she could reject you!
Wife: Well, she COULD... but she wont.
Me: She might.
Wife: What are you talking about? We're not even adopting (again) yet!

... thinking ...

Me: You know, they've proven that babies can tell their mothers by their scent. The moms don't even have to talk to their baby, just enter the room, and a crying baby will calm down if its their mother.
Wife: Uh-huh...
Me: Before they can see, or hear, or remember your face or voice, they know their mother by their scent.
Wife: Are you still talking?
Me: So, all I have to do is take an article of your clothing, and rub it all over myself the 1st time I see her! Then I will spell like you and I won't scare her!
Wife: You are NOT going by yourself! You can do the homeland visits with our adopted children when they get older...

... thinking ...

Me: It should still be me...


  1. Soooo we should expect an announcement over the next few months? ;) From witnessing you both the last trip, I know your future child would be blessed to ahve either of you there to meet her.

  2. Sounds like another trip to China is in your future! Maybe you should just BOTH go!

  3. 'What if money wasn't an issue...' living that!

  4. Hmmmmmm Adrian....maybe this time we can synch up our trip and the guys can travel together...we can blog and skype with the girls from'll be almost like they were there. Almost..... :-)

  5. Oh wow! It sounds like somebody is adopting again!!!!

    Another family from our travel group to adopt Clara Rose is adopting again and one of our playgroup friends is thinking about adopting again as well!

    Love is in the air!

    I can't stand it!

    But no, DH made it clear, Clara Rose is forever our baby-baby, and to be honest, I really feel like I have my hands full right now.

    I am totally staying out of the who is going debate!

    I can't wait to hear more!!!!

  6. Yes, the announcement would be something like this:
    "Hey guys! We just won the lottery! So we can NOT afford to adopt again..."

    Short of the lottery, or some rich uncle dying and leaving us a HUGE inheritance, I really have a hard time thinking that we would be able to adopt again.

    ... but I've been wrong before...