It could be a very profound "getted", like, while you are waiting for your child you "get" how much you love them, but when you hold them the first time, its a whole new level of "gettedness".
Other times, it may not be so profound.
This, is one of those "other" times.
Me: No yea, grew up in Flin Flon.
Friend: Really? Flin Flon. Wow. Sorry man.
Me: Don't be, it was awesome.
Friend: Really? Wasn't it cold? And boring...
Me: Nah man, really, awesome. I grew up in the woods, playing out side, dirt biking, canoeing, swimming, skiing, snowmobiling... And the town is actually quite pretty. Its all build on hills and rocks, and stuff.
Friend: But... its in Northern Manitoba!
Me: Well, yea. But its not bad. You know, once you get past the mosquitoes, black flies, and cold, and ... well... okay, maybe its not ideal, but darn it, I love it up North! It's like going home.
It was around this time that I realized, I really love it up North. I do. I don't know why.
Friend: Yea, so its cold. Buggy. Nothing to do... Boooorri...
Me: Hey! IT is NOT boring!
Friend: Oh right, canoeing. Like you couldn't do that anywhere else in Canada.
Me: We got other stuff.
Friend: Like what?
Me: We have the worlds Largest Trout Festival!
Friend: I'm sorry, was that the "only" Trout Festival?
Me: Hey! Don't be diss'n Teddy the Trout! Um, well, we also have bear wrestling?
Friend: Bear wrestling?
Me: Yea. We wrestle bears with our bare hands...
Friend: Un-huh... probably wrapped in bacon too.
Me: Darned right! We wrestle Bears Wrapped in Bacon! Because we are ...
Friend: Rough and Rugged... yea, you mentioned that a few times.
Not very profound at all really. Yet, I did "get" something during that exchange. It was the fact that I miss Flin Flon. I love Flin Flon! I enjoyed Flin Flon... okay, I tollerated Flin Flon? (No I really do love it up there!)
When I go back, is it the same Flin Flon I remember?
No. Not at all.
However, I have built up this "Flin Flon" in my head based on my ideals of a childhood spent there. And that is where the "got" came in.
I finally started to "get" the fact that Ping, will probably always miss China. I mean, I knew she would miss China, I read she would miss China, I was told she would miss China... but now... not I "got" it. As much as I love Ottawa, I still miss Flin Flon (Winnipeg, the city, not so much (miss the family there tho)). Was Flin Flon perfect? Heck no. Would I want to raise my children there? Probably not. But none of that dose anything to change the fact, that in my head, part of me longs for Flin Flon.
So no matter how much Ping may love Ottawa or Canada... she will probably always long for China. Thats something I need to remember, and not "un-get". Because when she is crying saying she wishes she was back in China, it has nothing to do with me... hopefully... but its all just a longing inside her to return to familiarity.
That alone was a pretty big "got it" type moment for me. Again, in my naivety I just assumed she would Love Canada. What was there to miss in China? Oh so much it turns out.
Then, the bigger "got". I just assumed she would love me (I love me, I think I'm pretty loveable, why wouldn't she love me?! What?! Someone dosn't love me?!)... but what about the people who cared for/loved her before me?
If I can have a longing for Flin Flon and Family... surely, Ping can/will have a longing to be back in China, with famaliar faces as well.
And what do I do with that? When she pushes back... wants to be let go... I guess just love her non-stop, and hope and pray that one day, she too will "get" the fact that I love her more than she knows.
Until she "gets" it... I hope at least she knows it...
Maybe after knowing it, she can believe it.
And after believing it, she can "get it".
I love it!! Now if you had mentioned something off the wall like a burbot derby or some offhanded comment about Thomas Creighton or The Sunless City... We could certainly compare "There's no place like home" stories.... Maybe we will have to compare accounts of Flin Flon... :) I can also say that I do miss it too on occasion - Just something about the place... We will all be back sometime. :)ReplyDelete
C & J & S
The fact that you "got it" will help immensely. I long for a father I don't know, and a city i lived in briefly...because it is part of me. Bless you for understanding this. Ping will thank you one day.ReplyDelete