Said VS Heard

Why, when I say something like "Go change your shirt", does me child hear "Hey, maybe, if you want to, can you please change your shirt? But no biggie, I mean you don't have to. You are the boss. If you don't want to change it, just feel free to yell at me instead. In fact, why don't you just keep that shirt on and yell at me... that would be way funner!" *sigh*

This summer, while Lady B and the Littles were off in Canada, I got to spend the whole summer... the whole summer... alone... the whole summer... alone... with Mr. Snuggles... alone.  The whole summer.  Alone.  Mr. Snuggles.  It's kinda like being traped in a small aquarium with a pack of terribly cute wild paranahs... alone... all summer.

This was a very unique time, as I doubt I will ever be able to spend like 3 months with *just* one of my 27 children, alone... all summer... alone.  It has been both the greatest summer, and the "absolutely horriblest, I'm not kidding, this is crazy hard and I never want to do this again!" ever... summer... alone.

16+ years of parenting, 3 biological children, 2 adoptions ... and yet most days I felt like I didn't know what was actually going on.  The smallest things could cause Mr. Snuggles to errupt into a tanturm without warning.

But we also had great moments, and truly wonderful times...

I guess what I had to learn, and keep learning, is that my Mr. Snuggles, is still struggling...

... a lot.  And I had to learn to hear what he was really saying... not what was actually said.

Like when he would scream and yell and kick and hit... what he was saying was "I don't want you!  I don't like you!" ... but what I needed to hear was...

... I'm still a little broken Dad.  Will you still love me?  Even if I kick, hit, scream and tell you I don't want you?  Because I'm still afraid that you may not really want me...

And YES Mr. Snuggles... I will always love you. 

But you could have just asked... you know, instead of hitting, kicking and screaming.  I'm just saying... you could'av just asked... "Hey, Dad... do you love me?"  That would have been a little easier.

... I'm just saying.

... you know.

... little less 'making Daddy bleed' would have been nice.