Monday, October 31, 2011

Must Be Excited!

She looks calm here... 
Co-Worker (CW):  So your wife must be excited.
Me:  Yea, she leaves in what, 9 days.  Something like that.  But not excited, I'd say... mmmm... how do I phrase it.  Oh yes, scared beyond all reason.
CW:  Oh?  Scared?  What?  Why?
Me:  Let me see if I can remember the list... she is scared that:

  • she will loose her luggage
  • she will get lost 
  • she will loose our son
  • she will loose our other son
  • she will get mugged taking the taxi
  • she will be alone at the airport, and the guide will forget about her
  • she will get on the wrong train
  • she will take the train to Taiyuan, and it will be a horrible experience
  • she will get Lukai, and he will be freaking out because he is leaving his 'foster family'...

CW:  Okay okay okay.  She's scared.
Me:  Yea, I'm sure there is more.  I probably forgot some.  All I did was ask 'What's wrong' ...

So is my wife scared to goto China?  Apparently.  Now is about when people should chime in with the typical "Oh you will be OK!", or "Everything is going to be fine!" and everyone's favorite "Don't worry."

But then, perspective is a bugger.  See, my wife may be worried about loosing some luggage... but Lukai is going to loose ALL his belongings (except maybe what he is wearing).

The wife may be worried about being lost for 19 days in China... but Lukai is going to be in a foreign land as well, and for longer than 19 days.

Lukai will loose the only family he has known.  He will be on the "wrong" train (according to him).  And yes, he probably will be freaking out.

So last night, when offering my ever loving, ever considerate, ever sympathetic shoulder for my nervous and terrified wife to cry on... I simply offered her this:
Oh stop whining... you're not the one getting adopted.
Oh no!  What, that's what I THOUGHT about saying...

... last night...
Me:  What's wrong?  You look sick?
Wife:  I'm scared... (see list above, then add on about 30 more things)
Me:  Mmmm, yea.  I get that.
Wife:  I know you probably think it is crazy all the fears I have.  You wouldn't be scared to go.  You'd be excited.
Me:  Oh no, all your fears are perfectly justified and the make sense.
Wife: ... thanks.
Me:  You are not going to loose any of our children, or your bags, or anything else.  It will be a great trip.  And yes, Lukai probably will freak out.  You know this.  But, you are not going on your own.  To quote someone else's blog, But God.

So here we stand... 9 days to go.  I've got a terrified wife.  An excited 11 year old.  A sick 7 year old (who threw up more Saturday night than I have EVER seen anyone throw up).  And probably a petrified son waiting for us in China.  Good times.  Good times.  :-)


  1. She'll be just fine....If I can do it alone, she can, too. I had 5 airports to go through, and a taxi to catch to my hotel without a guide. She'll have a grand time! I'm so excited for you guys.

  2. My worry meter resembles you wife's worry meter. I told my husband he could go alone or pick a friend to go with and I'll be here jet-lag-less to help when they come home. He's not buying it- making me go with them so we bond.... I could wait the 2 weeks and let them have a head start- I'd be ok with that....
    Wishing the best for your wife's experience.

  3. I am about to load you with stuff...

    The train... do you know who your guide is? Tell her to have the guide go in with you. Point out the entrance. For us, first door on the right, again to the right. Don't try to wait in the non crowded entrance. The crowd moves with the train schedule. As long as she can get on and off an escalator with luggage, she's golden. English is everywhere. She won't get on the wrong train. I didn't and if anyone was going to to that, it would be me.

    Also, I just sent someone else info about sharing the internet from a laptop so that you can call for free. Never posted, if she wants to know I think she has my email.

    I never took a cab in Taiyuan. Shopping was close enough to walk. If she's really nervous, just don't do it.

    We had Tracy as a guide in Taiyuan. There are only a few I think. She was okay, very sweet. If you ask her to stay or go and do she will.

    Most of all, please tell your terrified wife that I'm praying for her trip and the attachment. I can't wait to see to know she's home with both boys!

  4. I can understand that R is nervous. I would be if I was going without Carolyn. However, she is not alone in her corner (don't ask me where the boxing reference comes from....I don't have a clue. Anyhow...). When I think of our trip one of the biggest things that always comes to mind is how well FOI took care of us and our group. She will have the prayers of many of us. She will have your son. she will have the support of you and your family from home. Most importantly, she will have God with her. This journey is part of his plan.

    I firmly believe that she will be fine.

  5. Every mountain looks much higher when you're at the bottom looking up before your climb than once you're a good portion of the distance up to the top.

    Have the missus carry a card with the Chinese characters for "I'm lost and I need to get to X" (where X is the appropriate hotel), or "I'm lost, please call X" (where X is the guide's cell phone number). Split things among different pieces of luggage so there's no way to lose everything at one time. Remind her that China is a place where it's actually relatively easy to buy what's needed if almost anything is needed. Remind her that money belts are a traveler's best friend -- along with a smallish wad of "decoy" cash for those individuals who insist on taking what's not theirs. Remind her that as long as she continues looking at all this as an adventure, then even a horrible train ride is going to be nothing more than fodder for some great stories.

    And remind her that every mountain looks a lot higher when you're at the bottom looking up than after you've gotten into your climb. :-)

  6. Just make sure she has the number for Y handy. I am sure we called her more than once each trip. In fact I think we even called B once. And I KNOW we called our guides. hehe And certainly, she has someone even more powerful on speed dial. He won't let you down, R!

  7. The anticipation is always more scary than the reality. Everything will work out fine. Both of our adoptions, our guide gave us their number to call if we needed them when we were not with them. It will all work out fine.

    Really excited to follow along!

  8. Tell her there is an army praying for her - her safety, her peace, and Lukai's adjustment.

  9. I have faith that she will be able to handle whatever comes her way even if it means finding someone to help. Looking forward to the future posts about L.


  10. oh my goodness...can I identify! We leave in 8 days and I feel like I am having a panic attack. And its strange...I wasnt expecting this because I have been as cool as a cucumber until now. Now all of the sudden -I AM SCARED! :) Praying God helps calm her fears AND mine...