Sooooo... yea, it has been a little quiet lately around here.
What's that you ask?
Ummm... 125+ days waiting.
That is why.
I've tried blogging this past week... but everything sounded so bitter and angst-y that none of it was post worthy. I don't think there was anything to take away from those posts which would have helped anyone.
So I've been scouring my mind trying to find something, ANYTHING, happy this week... I'm still thinking.
Lets see here...
Waiting. Stalled. No one knows why. Our adoption agency has said "I asked CCAA last week, your dossier had been passed to the Department for LSC. I will follow this next week." - there are no flags, or notices, or anything "wrong" with our file... it just has stopped. No new information coming. That message sounded hopeful from the agency, until I remember that news was from Aug 4th. Generally the LSC arrives in 1 to 3 weeks. Uhhhhmmm. Oh well. I guess we just keep waiting.
Waiting. Stalled. City of Ottawa rejected sections of our building plans. Fun weekend of talking with architects/engineers and contracts to get stuff fixed. Sooooo, yea, resubmitted the paper work, and now... like our adoption... we wait.
Family is doing well?
Weeeeeell, the wife's grandfather just passed away. And because we have the home renovations and adoption, we don't have the money to send her waaaay back out to Alberta for the funeral. Massive guilt for not going? Check! Family probably gonna be mad? Check! Maybe. So far its been good. I'm just waiting for the emotions to really kick into high gear during the funeral.
So here I sit... sick, dizzy, waiting for everything and in the back of my head I hear my own voice just screaming "Can't something go right for me today?! Just. One. Flipping. Thing. Go. Right."
Then I notice some updates on Facebook and I'm reminded of the weekend that was. We had some good friends over, and they had updated some pictures from the weekend in their Facebook album titled 'Fun Stuff'. What a great reminder. We had some good friends over on the weekend for some canoeing, camp fire, s'mores and music. It was a really nice distraction from waiting for ... well... everything. :-)
|J looks "distinguished",|
even with s'mores smushed in his beard
|The kids are adorable|
|Ping finally has a (Chinese) role model who doesn't scare her|
|K + Y, teenagers, what can ya do?|
|Only posting this picture of K because Y said he looks "Hot". |
Then she said "No WAIT! TELL HIM THAT! POST this Picture!" ...
Well, maybe it was "DON'T tell him", and "DON'T post".
So hard to remember being so OLD and all. Oh well.
Even a midst this fun wonderful weekend with friends, I could have decided to focus on the fact that my son kicked me out of the canoe because I was "too fat and will make it sink".
I could focus on the fact that I got called OLD many times... every grey hair on my head and in my beard counted (J pointed out that it will make me look 'distinguished' ... but I don't WANT to be distinguished yet!).
I could even focus on the fact that Lukai was not here to share this weekend with us... but he could have been had the paperwork not stalled 125+ days ago! Not that I'm counting. :-)
Yes, even during the good times, we can become so distracted with waiting for Lukai that we can miss the wonderful life happenings all around us.
Its a tough balance to reach. I mean, I just want Lukai home. And that is a pretty all consuming thought. Wanting him home is not a bad thing... is it? I guess it *could* be a bad thing if it causes me to miss the quality moments with the other children and wife.
You would think that the poor minimum wage government working in China pushing the adoption paperwork could find at least a couple of minutes during their 16 hour work day to finish our documents and get us home with Lukai? :-)
It's gonna be OK though. Find your happy place. Aaaand, I'm OK. We're gonna be OK. We're gonna be just FINE.
*ring* *ring* *ring*
Wife: Can I go to Pensilvania?
Wife: There are other adoptive families there. I wan't to go visit them to distract myself.
Me: So you want to leave the country.
Wife: What? I have a passport!
Me: Let me just check the email...
Wife: Why? There is nothing in the email.
Me: Why did they send you their address already?
Wife: They did?
Me: And a map to their place?
Wife: I didn't say "yes" yet.
We're gonna be FINE. We're gonna be just ...
*ring* *ring* *ring*
Wife: No one likes me! No one wants me to come!
Wife: Well I said I would come... and no one is free this weekend!
I'm gonna be fine.
... the wife... I'm not so sure.