Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Mr. Mom

Doom: Dude!
Me: Hey Doom. How'ya doing. Haven't seen you in a while. You doing well?
Doom: Yea... That's okay tho, I know you've been busy. Running around... thinking life is all great and stuff.
Me: Yeeeea. Its a nice feeling from time to time.
Doom: Oh good. Glad you are enjoying it.
Me: Yup.
Doom:  Didja give much thought about what you're gonna do this week?
Me:  What do you mean?
Doom:  Well, lets see... you've got your software delivery due this week at work.
Me:  Yup.  No problem.  Got it covered.
Doom:  Oh yea?  What about the side job you got going to help pay for the adoption?  I hear you are a little behind in delivering the goods.
Me:  Yea, I'm a little behind, but I'm catching up.  I've got a plan in place.
Doom:  Oh good.  I'd hate that you were feeling overwhelmed.  Hey, what about the other side job you got going for the social worker there?  You know, to help offset some more of the adoption fees.
Me:  Ahhhh, good.  I guess.  The laptop is in.  Got it configured... finally.  Just gotta drop it off, and do some data transfer... and... ugh... well, it's all good.  All good.
Doom:  Un-huh.  Kind of a tight balancing act you got going on.  Like a deck of cards ready to fall!
Me:  You mean a house of cards.  A deck of cards wouldn't really fall.
Doom:  Saaaaay, how about Chinese School on Saturday?
Me:  Well, Ping is falling behind a bit.  My fault really, no time to practice with her.  Oh, and THIS Saturday is a big party.  Oh, I should tell my co-worker about it, she dosn't really pay attention to Chinese School.
Doom:  And don't you have a party Saturday afternoon as well?
Me:  Yea, well, me and Roberta are hosting a big Chinese New Year Party for some adoptive families.
Doom:  Hmmmm... interesting.  And Sunday?
Me:  Ummm, Chinese Party with the Adoption Agency.
Doom:  What are we forgetting...
Me:  Ice skating for G and D this week at school, lots of little loose ends.  You know, clean the house for the parties, make the food, stuff like that.  But hey, thats gonna be handled by the wife mostly.
Doom:  Interesting.  MwhahahahahahahahahaAAaaaAAAHHHHH!!!
Me:  Dude, enough with the evil laugh.
Doom:  I know something you don't know.
Me:  Oh bring it on!  I could use a challenge.
*ring* *ring* *ring*
Wife:  Hey, uh, my Dad just died.

And just like that, I could watch all my brilliantly laid plans start to unravel.  Or, like the house of cards being blown over slowly, each wall falling to the ground in a whirl wind of uncertainty.

So this morning, during the biggest blizzard of the last 20 years, what was I doing?
Playing in the snow
I was fighting my way though the blowing snow, and sleet and cold to get my wife to her hair dressers so she could have her hair "done" (because the stress of the week has made it painful for her to blow dry her hair - no really, her shoulders are so tense she can't barely move)... all while we had about 3 hours to get the wife to the airport to try to catch a plane which hopefully hasn't been cancelled.
Getting hair done, in a blizzard, before the flight...
And yes, my wife's father has passed away, and yes, I'm sure that is very sad (I'm sure that will come up more in the next few blogs), but that is not really the point of this post.

This whole blog is nothing but a sad attempt at generating some sympathy (which I won't get from the "moms" out there) for my upcoming week.  I've got a few things on the go which I will now have to handle all without my lovely wife while she is out for a couple weeks.

I've got:

  • major software delivery due this week for work
  • the 'Brits flying in for work next-next week
  • planning a trip to Amsterdam for work
  • get the kids to school 
  • get the day care kids to school
  • get to work this week
  • get home before the kids from school
  • get D to karate
  • goto Pings class and do a Chinese New Year presentation
  • get Ping + G to Chinese School
  • get the grocery shopping done for the next two weeks
  • get the shopping done for the Chinese New Years Party we are hosting
  • host the party (anyone coming to the party, don't you dare cancel on me now!  :-)  It will be great!)
  • attend the FOI party
  • many loads of laundry
  • still fit in the Wednesday night Date Nights with the kids (yes, it was Pings turn today, and she would not be turned aside)

Anyway, today was the 1st day Roberta has been "gone-gone" in a long time... and it started off well enough. I was sticking to the daily routines.  Snacks for the kids at the normal snack time, outside play when outside play is supposed to happen...  slowly rebuilding my house of cards... when whoosh!

*ring* *ring* *ring*
Friend:  Hello.
Me:  Hey.  It's me.
Friend:  Hey, did the wife get a flight out?
Me:  Yea, she did.  Ummmm... I know that she has only been gone for about 2 hours, so it would be great if we didn't tell her that I had to call you already.
Friend:  What happened?
Me:  Can you put snow pants in the washer?  One of the kids just pee'd in thier snow pants.  They havn't pee'd themselves in like, 5 years.  But they decided to do it now.  Just now.  You know, now.  Once the wife left.
Friend:  I won't tell her.  Yes, you can put them in the washer.
Me:  Thanks.

The 1st day is winding down, kids are tucked in, asleep.  I'm still trying to figure out what is going to happen tomorrow.

Now, I'm going to go and try to re-assemble my house of cards, while my wife is sitting in a house very far away looking at a very different shattered house of cards which she will have to try to piece back together, and which somehow makes my deck of cards seem silly and unimportant.

Oh, the last two things she said to me were:

  1. don't try to say anything to make me feel better, you're just gonna wind up making me mad cuz you will say something stupid
  2. you better throw the best damned Chinese New Years Party while I'm gone!
Hey, I wonder if we can use this as a fund raiser?  You know, like, a betting thing.  We can have the Over/Under bets on how long it takes for me to have to call 911 or the Poisson Control Line with the wife gone.  All the proceeds can go to the Chip In fundraiser!  :-)


  1. Oh! You have our sympathy; so does your wife; and your kids. So sorry.

  2. Just want to say that I will pray for you, for Roberta, and for the family. A tough time for all of you. I am so sorry for your loss.

  3. You know, it is nice to have somebody else's life make yours feel super easy. (Mine with two kids and no emergencies) Thanks for the laughter even in the midst of stress and grief. If I lived close I'd bring food.

  4. You totally have my sympathy, as does your wife. God's comfort and peace to her and to you all.

  5. I know you don't have time to check blog comments right now, but we are praying for all of you. Wouldn't it be great if you could not only get through this but do it with flair AND peace? Now that I might chip in for. ;)
    Tell Roberta she's been on my mind and in my prayers so many times (Even woke up in the night and thought - those guys need You more than I do, will You let them know You are right there with them?). If you knew me like my family knows me, there ain't much that disturbs my sleep. He MUST be doing something. :) Shelley

  6. First of all, I did indeed pray for Roberta, her family, and you and the kids at home. For peace, safe travels, and for you not to pull your hair out. Or any of the kids' hair out for that matter.

    Secondly, your list of things to do, yes, it does look very similar to a mom's normal weekly list, but I will definitely give you sympathy for that fact that no one else is there to pick up the slack. And extra credit for having to top of the week by hosting a party. Wow.

    Thirdly, Roberta said to remind you to bath the kids. So bath the kids. At least once this week. Each of them.