Thursday, February 3, 2011

Day #2 Without the Wife

I would like to think that things have been going pretty well for the last 36 hours or so without the wife...

Everyone is so happy!  Except Ping, who decided to cry about having her Picture taken.
I know its still early, and there is a long way to go.  But we did get 2 of the children bathed between yesterday and today, K made his drama practice, I got a couple hours in at the office, the kids all made it to school on time, and ice skating (although D might have lost his Ice Skates on the way home!)...  I got them all fed (Marg sent the main dish, I added some garlic bread and a nice salad) and into bed with no problems.  Yes sir, the birds were singing, I was Super Dad, the world was right and my house of cards was coming along quite nicely!

Well... okay, thats the story in my head.

What really happened was pretty much what was listed above, but with more crying, yelling, screaming and spitting.

Ping woke up this morning and it was like me and her took a 6 month step backwards.  She fought me on everything!  Get dressed?  Nah-uh!  I don't think so!  Not without tantrum crying/screaming and laying prone on the ground saying "I can't do it", "I'm never right", and "You don't love me!"  Breakfast was another fight.

(Story told from Pings perspective ala 'The Champ')
So there I was minding my own business when I run into Adrian The Yeti Berzenji, and he says to me "Hey Champ, how about you come get some... oat... meal".  And I say, "Pardon?"  Again, the knucklehead says "Hey CHAMP, how about you come get some... oatmeal".  WELL!  I LOOSE IT!  I SNAP!  I head fake him with a spurtle and the chowder head falls for it!  A FLURRY OF punches to the solo-plexus and the Yeti goes down like a sack of 3 day old oats soaked in dirty bath water.  And I say "Hey Yeti, is that enough 'Come get some oatmeal' enough for ya?"  And ever since, I've been The Champ.

Now, I'm not doing anything differently than every other morning when I get the kids ready for school.  I'm the one who gets them dressed, and brush their teeth and stuff.  The Wife feeds 'em breakfast... but I go out with them and get 'em on the buses.  And what is normally a pleasant routine, turned into one big fight... well, a fight from her side.  I wasn't really fighting with her.  Just held my ground and expected her to get dressed and ready for school amidst the tears.

When Ping did get home from school, I called to check on how K was making out with her.  I quickly packed up my work, and headed home.  She was still in a bad mood.

By 6:30pm she was in bed going to sleep because she had started spitting in her sisters face.  Oh my gosh, you would think I was trying to kill her by putting her to bed early.  But through the tears, I noticed something.  A smile.  I don't think she wanted to smile.  But at the same time, I think she was happy to see that Daddy is not going to bend or break just because she throws a fit.  We have laid down our expectations as parents, and although there are times in wisdom and love where expectations may be changed, this was not the case today.  She needed (and I think wanted) to know that just because Mom was here, Daddy could (and would) still expect the same behavior from her that we always have, and that in return, Daddy will provide the same warm, safe, loving home even though Mommy may be gone.

So is there separation anxiety already setting in?  Maybe.  But it will be better tomorrow.

Today was a great reminder of just how far we have come in the last few months.  It is also a reminder that no matter how far we think we have come, there is farther yet to go.

But most importantly... I am reminded to be so very very very very thankful that Ping has stopped yelling at me in Mandarin every time we are alone, for as long as we are alone.


  1. Loooooooove the Champ reference Adrian! I haven't heard one of those in a long, long time. (yes I did "hear" it as I read it)

  2. Yea! Once you hear The Champ, it can't be unheard. :-) Quite often, during loooong boring meetings at work, or when people are annoying me, I hear The Champ in my head... Its like, WWCD? - What Would the Champ Do? :-)

  3. I am still laughing to myself about it!!!! Love The Champ!!!! Looking forward to Sunday.

  4. Yup, can't wait! I might even remember the money belt... I'll try my best. But being left alone with 4 kids, I'm not promising much.

  5. Don't even think about it. Besides, Roberta will need it again soon anyhow. It definitely has another trip to China in it.

  6. You, my friend, deserve a metal.
    (Champ was hilarious!)

  7. Whew, that was a tough one! But you did it! You made it through those first couple days and boy did she test you. Go Champ!