|Who saved who?|
Wife: Thats a silly rule. What, because there are SO many Graces who have been adopted? What about Hope or Faith? Do we have to ban those names as well?
Me: Yea, maybe. I'm not sure yet. But think about it, every disrupted adoption I know of, came at the expense of a child named Grace.
Friend: Oh, thats an interesting observation.
Me: I donno, maybe these parents going into Adoption thinking they are going to "save a child" are going into adoption for the wrong reasons. Maybe they shouldn't be trying to "save a child". How about they just start by loving that child, and seeing what happens.
She didn't need saving... Well, wait, she DID need saving, but not by me.
What did she need from me?
Which is a good thing. Because, I can't save her. I can't save anyone. At best, I can try to not mess my children up sooooo badly that they wind up in therapy by the age of 12. Besides, there is only one person who can save people... and it ain't me, probably ain't you either, and my wife might just think it is her... but she would be wrong as well. :-)
But I can love them.
I can hold them.
I can dream for them.
I can provide them with a father.
And WE can provide them with a family.
I can do many things... but I can not save them (and what I AM able to provide is so very important for our children).
Call me crazy, but maybe if I spend more time loving my children for the way they are, rather than trying to fix them (or turn them into who I think they should be), we all might just wind up being "saved" after all.
So, as we enter Adoption #2, I'm not going to be focused on trying to save a child (that never was my intent or job anyway). I'm just going to be focused on loving our child... and I'll let the saving part work itself out.
* == Love doesn't always replace knowledge though, you still have to be an educated and a smart parent (especially when adopting**). Sometimes Love isn't always obvious... Love might be telling your children "No", when you want to say "Yes" and stuff like that. I'm not saying "just love on them, and let them do whatever they want" ... you've still gotta be the parent and help guide them along the path of what is good... but we are called as parents to Love our children - let God do the fixing and saving...
** == I take that back. Many horrible people in this world were NOT adopted, which proves biological children can be REALLY messed up too. So you gotta be a smart, educated parent no matter what.