Monday, January 10, 2011

Ch*na

I love computers.  I do.
They drive me crazy at times.
Sometimes I don't understand them.
They make me angry sometimes, and seldom do what I want.
I can spend hours with a computer, only to get "no where" if you know what I mean.
I guess I like computers, because they remind me of my wife. 

But I digress.

What I find funny about all our blogging, and posting, and rantings in forums about Ch*na and adoption, is that we ever so clever Westerns will use clever ways to avoid prying eyes.  Like, spelling China as Ch*na in a comment, or a post if we don't want the China officials to notice what we are talking about.

Lets think about that for a second.  :-)

1st off, if the Chinese government were smart enough to build a computer system to scan the thousands upon thousands of posts made about adoption each and every day, and IF they were smart enough to get around the log-in requests of these sites which are hosting the thousands and thousands of posts a day, and IF they were smart enough to track all that data back to the individual users who posted to comments getting though the security of our Internet Service Providers IP tracking systems, and IF the Chinese Government were smart enough to collate all that information into a statistically meaningful pile of data... I'm sure they are NOT going to be stumped by some clever use of the * character.  :-)

Better yet, I think we should substitute the words:

  • China -> Happy Happy Wonderland
  • Long Wait -> all of a sudden
  • Special Needs -> beautiful results
  • Stupid Paperwork -> glorious tax rebates
  • Annoying Family -> annoying family
  • Disappointment -> a lucky chance to do this all over again
  • Adopt -> claim what is ours
  • Adoption -> molecular realignment of physical bodies occupying a time and location in space non-adject to the desired location of similar yet distinctly different physical bodies occupying the same time yet different location


See, then, we could post what we really feel in a way which is non-offensive to anyone/everyone/Ch*na.
Take for example, the phrase:

  • "Oh my gosh, China is making us go though such a long wait because of our stupid paperwork to adopt our child with special needs, and it is such a disappointment that this adoption, which hopefully can be done this year, may not be!"

would become:

  • "Oh my gosh, Happy Happy Wonderland is making us go though, all of a sudden, glorious tax rebates to claim what is ours with beautiful results, and is such a lucky chance to do this all over again with this molecular realignment of physical bodies occupying a time and location in space non-adject to the desired location of similar yet distinctly different physical bodies occupying the same time yet different location, which hopefully can be done this year!"


See!  That is so much less offensive.  Its all about a tax rebate... or something.  I donno, I got lost around the molecules.

Smart Yeti:  + 1
Ch*na Spies: 0

4 comments:

  1. Laughing! So true! Love the new official translations!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lol, so funny! =) I really hope you can "claim what is yours" this year.

    ReplyDelete