Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Me and the Police

I know this may come as a complete and total shock to anyone reading this... but sometimes, I have issues with those in Law Enforcement. Well, to be more precise, I don't have an issue with them... but they seem to have an issue with me.

Future Wife: Are you speeding?
Younger Me: Nope.
Future Wife: Why did you get pulled over then?
Younger Me: I'm not sure. I'm sure we will find out soon enough.
Policeman: License and registration please.
Younger Me: Sure.
Policeman: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Younger Me: Because of my dashing good looks?
Policeman: No, because there is reason to believe you are driving a stolen vehicle.

I look at my car (man, I wish I had a picture of it!)... a rusted out 1976 Plymouth Horizon. Floor boards had rusted though so bad, that when we drove though a puddle water splashed up on the INSIDE of the car. There was no muffler really to speak of. And the whole car was held together with duct tape and chicken wire.

Younger Me: Officer Sir, if I were to steal a car, I would have stolen something nicer than a 1976 Plymouth Horizon.
Policeman: Son, get out of the car and spread 'em...

For the next 45 minutes, I'm standing in the freezing rain on a cold Winnipeg Autumn evening... while some police officer is sitting in his nice warm cruiser watching me freeze. I tried to re-enter my car, which cause the officer to jump out and almost shoot me...

On the flip side, my beautiful wife and her sister got pulled over for:
1) speeding
2) not wearing seat belts
3) having the wrong plates on the vehicle
4) not having the insurance/liscence on the vehicle
5) having the children not in thier seats (it was a cargo van)
And THEY got off with just a "warning". GAH! If that was me, the cop would have shot me for SURE!

OH! Shooting me! That reminds me of another time...

Policeman: Open the door!
Much Younger Me: Uh, why are there police men running up to the house...
Older Brother: And why do they have their guns drawn?

... uuummmmm, you know what, I'm gonna finish that story AFTER our adoption is complete. :-)

Getting on topic... recently, we had to get our criminal reports done... like... 3 times... because *SOMETHING* always got forgotten in the report.

But dealing with the police with our adoption has been different. Everyone at the station has been super helpful, and even though the paper work has not gone as "smoothly" as one would like, the police seem genuinely interested in getting our adoption completed as quickly and painlessly as possible.

I'm sure that these police officers who are just "doing their jobs" don't understand that they are actually helping bring a "missing child home".

I've heard it said before that it "takes a village to raise a child"... in the world of adoption, it "takes a city of government workers to work though all the red tape to allow you to bring a child home"... or something.

So, to all the unsung heroes of adoption... Yeeeeees, to you the Social Workers, the Criminal Report Checkers, to the Finger Printer Taker Guy at the RCMP Office and yes... even you, you crazy little Guy Who Stamps My Paper at The Chinese Embassy before Sending it to the Laywers* - this post is for you - Thank You**.

* == Laywers are not included in the list of people to thank... nor is AirCanada... blood thirsty leeches***!
** == See, cup 1/2 full kind of guy - I'm not freaking out that we've lost like 3 weeks due to this paper work bungle! Not. Freaking. Out.
*** == if my Blog dissapears soon, its because the laywers**** sued me for something...
**** == I'm only kidding, the laywers are great*****.
***** == I still think AirCanada shouldn't charge FULL FREAKING FARE for a 2+ year old.


  1. Heh. My parents drove a 1974 gold Dodge Dart until 1990. It, too, had a hole on the passenger side floor board - you could actually rest your feet on the ground while sitting inside the car. The reason they got rid of it - finally? We were moving back to the mainland from Hawaii, and it cost more to ship the car to California than the car was actually worth. Now I ask you, who would steal a car like that? Or the very similar 1976 Plymouth?

  2. Officer: Why were you doing 65 in a 25 zone?

    Old Friend: I was trying to make my speed match the age of my car.

    That didn’t go over so well.

  3. In the middle of our first adoption. No criminal record...husband has high level of clearance in the military. There were so many paperwork snafus it took us over 8 months just to get the home study signed. I did freak out more than once.

  4. On the stolen cars- well DH did have an old rusted out toyota (maybe it is because it was a toyota). I don't know how old it was, but I sustpect it was around at the parting of the Red Sea.

    DH's car actually did get stolen.

    Who would steal such a car? Clearly someone not very smart as they were caught within 10 minutes of stealing it-- oh wait a minute, I think it died and would not re-start, which put a damper on their quick get-away plan.

    True story!

    I hope the snafus, snafu themselves out and our paperwork gets processed quickly. The cops where we live in the US were very helpful with their part of the process as well.


  5. you forgot to mention that the car was not only old (and a horizon) but also pee yellow.

  6. Hi-- I just stumbled in here from someone's link.... I had to laugh, great post. My car was stolen some time back, it was a 10 year old Pontiac. I thought, you know, no one has any ambition anymore. Have some pride, steal a nicer car!

  7. Oh, just what I needed to read after an exhausting day in China. Are you sure you want to adopt again? Just kidding!

  8. Just FYI, most stolen cars are older. It's usually low level criminals who just need a car for the night and they are the easiest to steal. They usually dump them when they run out of gas and then grab another one - I'll teach you the tricks of the trade if we end up on a long flight to China together.
    Maybe you could use that as an argument to get Roberta to buy you a nice new car.