Thursday, October 7, 2010

... another Brick in the Wall

Ping at School
We don't need no education
We don't need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teacher leave them kids alone

*ring* *ring* *ring*
Co-Worker (CW):  Hello?
Voice:  *wa-wa-waaa, wan-aw-waaaa*  (Charlie Brown Teacher Voice, you know it...)
CW:  Oh?
Voice: (angerly) *wa-wa, wa-waaana*
CW:  Oh.  I'm sorry.  No, I'll come.  *click*
Me:  What's up?
CW:  Oh, my daughter got in trouble at school.

... some days later ...

*ring* *ring* *ring*
CW:  Hel... oh.  Yes, right.  No, I understand.  Thanks.  I'll come right now.  *click*
Me:  Duaghter?
CW:  Yup.  I don't know what I'm going to do!  She won't do her school work, the teacher asks her something, and she says "I don't want to do it", so she ends up in the principals office again.
Me:  Well, not all kids can be as wonderfully well behaved as mine.
CW:  *something in Mandarin*
Me:  Huh, I'm not sure I know what that means.

... a few days later again...

*ring* *ring* *ring*
CW:  I'll come get her.
Me:  Daughter, again?
CW:  Yes!  She's driving me nuts!  What can I do?!  You are such a wonderful amazing parent*, how can I get my daughter to behave!
Me:  Weeeeeell, let me tell you!

And thus begins a 1/2 hour long session of "Parenting for Dummies - by the Yeti", full of wonderful insight, brilliant thoughts, love, discernment, consistency, etc...

Now... fast forward to modern day...

CW:  So, new school year, and new school for my daughter!
Me:  Hey, thats great!  The new teachers won't know what a distraction she can be - she might have a chance to do good this year!
CW:  Yes!  And how is Ping starting?
Me:  Oh great!  Because I'm such an awesome parent...
*ring* *ring* *ring*
Me:  Hold on, thats probably my wife telling me how wonderful OUR daughter was at school.  Hello.
Wife:  Hey, I got an email from Pings new teacher.
Me:  Really.  Did she decide to email to tell us how wonderful Ping is!
Wife:  No.
Me:  Oh, uh... why did she email then?
Wife:  Because Ping spat at another child.
Me:  Oh, well, uh, she gets that from you.
Wife:  And apparently, there were some other problems as well...  *click*
CW:  How is Ping doing?
Me:  Oh, shes... uh... doing great!

... a couple days later...

*ring* *ring* *ring*
Me:  Hello.
Wife:  We're have to switch Pings class.
Me:  What?  Why?
Wife:  Because she is fighting with the teacher too much.  *click*
CW:  So, how is Ping doing?
Me:  Remember how I used to laugh at you and your daughter issues... well... Bob was right, little Chinese girls ARE cute... but boy, are they stubborn!  I will never judge your parenting again!
CW:  Maybe it is just a little Chinese girl thing.  Maybe we're both great parents...
Me:  Yea, thats it!  We're both great parents!  We just have stubborn little Chinese daughters...  *siiigh*

Yes, we had to pull Ping from her Senior Kindergarten class, and put her back in the Junior Kindergarten class.  I'm not sure what went wrong really.  Ping was great with the other kids... she just kept challenging the teacher.

I'm not sure if this is a Ping thing, or an Orphanage thing, or a typical 4 year old thing, but with Ping, I do know, you have to establish dominance!

I'm talking pin her to the ground and bite her neck type of dominance!
You have to let her know who the Alpha Dog is - and right quick!

Once she knows that, everything is OK.

I know we've done that.  Ping even tell me "Daddy, you're da boss... when Mommy no here", she knows whose boss!  :-)

Her Senior Kindergarten teacher was fresh out of teachers college - her new teacher is a seasoned vet.  Which is why we choose her class for Pings new class.
We wanted someone who would not be intimidated by Ping.
And I think its working... because Ping dose NOT like her new teacher.  :-)  She will tho.  Once the whole dominance thing is figured out.  :-)

What is somewhat interesting, is that Ping seems so strong that we never really 'coddled' her when we switched classes.  We figured, well considering everything shes been though, it's not like THIS is going to bother her.  Just switching classes...
... but come the Monday for her to start her new class - she was in TEARS!  Just sobbing and crying and saying that she didn't want to go!  That she was SCARED.

If this was one of our other children, and we had to switch classes, we would have KNOWN that they would be scared and stuff... Ping has just always been so brave.

So we hugged her and tried to help her feel better, and she trundled off to school.

The next day, someone from her new class already called and set up a play date... so maybe this is going to work out OK after all.


  1. Awww....lesson 1---be slow to give parenting advice! Not sure what lesson 2 is just yet. I'm sure she'll be just fine in the new class. But, really? arguing with the teacher too much? Is that an exaggeration? I never can tell....

  2. Ah yes. The strong woman. I *know* our girls are going to be alright in life. ;)

  3. Hey Adrian,
    Hope you dont mind me asking but will you keep Ping in JK this school year and then move her up to SK next year?? The reason I am asking is we are still trying to figure out what to do with Lia who is 4 (came home in June) and I think we are going to try her in nursery school in Jan then into SK next Sept and see how it goes!

  4. Our daughters are survivors. It they didn't have this survival streak they probably wouldn't be here. So many little ones didn't and sadly many just didn't make it.

    I tried explaining this to my daughter's teacher, not to excuse the behaviour, but to help her understand it. I agree, the strong teacher that can make her feel safe is the best thing for her.

  5. No, not an exaggeration - I think had the teacher been a little more seasoned, the year could have turned out differently. But such is life. :-)

    Trica: Yea, we are going to keep her in Jr. K this year. She did Jr. K last year as well. Maybe next year Sr. K will work. She is smart enough to be in Sr. K - it is really just the emotional/behavior issues which make it a litter harder than it should be. I figure, there is enough stress in her life - school dosn't need to be one now. :-)