Monday, September 13, 2010

Why Do We Make It So Hard?

Warning:  This is a bit of a "soap box" type post - something pretty close to my heart, and not really the typical "Yeti Funny (or at least what I think is funny)" readers may be used to.  IF you are looking for something funny, I suggest the Shot Gun post, or a re-cap of our PRIDE course...  If you are ready for a bit of a challenge, then read on... read on.

Recently, I heard of a family who found a little girl who was in an adoption which was failing.  The little girl was already moved out of the adoptive parents house and was living with a "respite" family.  This family we know of, went and met with the little girl and her respite family (apparently, the adoptive family did not want to meet with anyone) to try to help as they themselves have some adoption experience.

At the end of the day, the family was driving home, and the mother looks at the father and says "We can adopt her."

A few days later, the original adoptive family calls, and says "what can we do about our adopted child, she is driving us crazy", the mother we know offers "we will adopt her".

As simple as that, the young girl is now in the custody of the new family, and the paper work is underway to formalize the new adoption.

Now is that a great model for adoption?  Not really.  There was a failed adoption in there, and the little girl is old enough to know what is going on.  There is going to be lots to heal.

Unfortunately, this happens too often in adoption (see the American family who sent their Russian child home with a 1 way plane ticket)... but I would like you all to forget about that for a bit and focus on the other side.

The "We can adopt her" side.

It really was that simple of a choice for this family.

There is a child.
Who needs a loving home.
We are a loving home.
We can adopt a child.
We have the financial means.
We have the love.
The only thing missing is the child.

Isn't that the response we all want from society?!  That people and families would give of themselves to provide a better life for those in need?

Isn't that why our children did fund raising for children in Haiti after the earthquake?

I know there is that whole side of adoption which doesn't want to focus on the "I'm saving a child".  And rightfully so.  Because really, we are not saving a child.  We happen to be adding to our family, regardless of how we are adding to our family.

But in this case... the answer can be so clear.  This was a clear response to a need.

I see families go out and spend thousands of dollars on a new car... when they already have two fine cars.
I see families go out and spend more money on their home theaters than we spent on our first home!
I see families add extensions on to their homes, adding bedrooms for children they will never have.

I see families do all sorts of "crazy things" which for some reason seem culturally acceptable.  In fact these things are deemed normal!

But adopting a child?  Well... thats just... crazy!

When did it become crazy to help a child?
When did it become crazy to open up your family to someone who is lost, and alone in this world without someone to love them?

When did we become the crazies who decide to welcome a child into our lives instead of buying that new motor boat?  big screen TV and sound system?  BMW?  etc...

Sometimes, this world leaves me speechless.
Sometimes for the wrong reasons.
But today, today I have been left speechless for the right reasons, as I see a child welcomed into a new family who will love her and raise her as if she has been loved with the intensity of a thousand suns!

There.  I'm done on my soap box.  Please don't assume that this post represent my whole thoughts on adoption... just my thoughts today, right now.  I challenge any of your to visit a site like RainbowKids and think differently.  If those children do not stir your heart to action (even if it isn't adopting, but sponsoring, supporting, help advocate for, etc), then I don't know what will.


  1. Move over, I agree and want to share your soapbox! Can I share a link to your blog from mine?

  2. Got any room on that soap box for me too? Great post!

  3. I am saddened by the first family, their loss, and the trememdous loss that child must feel. We read about it and see it over an over, families who cannot parent their newly adopted children. I will not make judgements here, but hope to advocate for adoptive families having REALITY in the sight, preparation, not the rosy, pretty "bring home a baby, happy ever after" stuff.

    I pray for the family who has lost, and the child, and for her gain...blessings to those whgo are welcoming her, and may she thrive in her family.

    Yes, you are often a riot to read and follow, but it isn't always fun, nor funny. Thanks for your other side.


  4. Love your TONNES of funnyness--but love the serious side too. Thanks for posting this.

  5. Kelly, glad you've expanded your vocabulary to include some Canadiana in there. :-) Before you know it, you'll be throwing around random U's into words like coloUr and such! :-)

    Essie, it was/is a very sad situation. But from sorrow and mourning, can come joy and happiness right. :-)