Starting it All... Again...

Almost a year and a half ago, I posted this:  http://berzenji.blogspot.com/2009/07/starting-it-all.html
Well, now... I'm posting it again.
I've thought for days about how to Blog about the Fact that we've started our 2nd adoption.
I had many great ideas... I though...  :-)

Another one coming...

Me:  What about if I do a video montage of me driving in the car, and every song on the radio is about babies!
Wife:  Huh?  Wazzz dat?!  Whoze der?!  *SnnorcK*
Me:  You know, like... Ace of Base's song All that She Wants is Another Baby... or Amy Grant's Baby Baby.  Or Baby's Got Back!   And every time it gets to the part about having a Baby, I'll pretend to switch stations.
Wife:  Now?
Me:  Okay, or, how about... we get Ping a Tee-Shirts with "I'm A Big Sister" written on it!
Wife:  You want to talk about this NOW?
Me:  No?  Okay, how about something more subtle!  Liiiiike, uh, OH!  I'll take pictures of things like 7 seats at the diner table!  Or all 7 seats in the mini-van!  You know... cuz there will be 7 people in our family now!
Wife:  ITS 2AM IN THE MORNING!!!
Me:  Oh, really?  I didn't notice.  Guess I'm kind of excited.
Wife:  ... moron.
Me:  What about if w...
Wife:  Oh my gosh!  Just post a freaking blog already and be done with it!  I just want to go back to bed!  And stop being so narcissistic!
Me:  Boy, you are grumpy when you get woken up...
Wife:  You think?
Me:  ... and thats why it should be me!  I can handle waking up multiple times a night better!
Wife:  OH FOR THE LOVE OF ....

So yes, in ending the worst kept secret of the Forever Family Blog, we have begun the paper work for our 2nd adoption!

So, to answer some of the questions we get asked on a continual basis:

• Yes, we still want another child, and yes, adopting, and yes, China.
• No, it isn't really any quicker - well, a little, but only because we know the paper work a little better, and don't have to do the PRIDE Course again, and a shorter Home Study.
• Yes, we think this is a good decision.
• No, it isn't really any easier (not emotionally anyway).
• Yes, we know what we are doing (or at least as much as we ever did know anything)
• No, it isn't really any cheaper.
• Yes, we would consider an older child with special needs again.
• No, I don't think thats crazy.
• Yes, Ping is doing great.
• No, she stopped speaking Mandarin.
• Yes, she stopped yelling at me.
• No, we don't know the child.
• Yes, we are open to either a boy or girl.
• No, we... oh wait... the wife is yelling at me.

Un-huh... right.  No, we talked about it.  I didn't think we confirmed her.  I know.  No.   Un-huh.  Yes.  Right.  Well, hmmm, I don't know.  You really think so?  No.  I kind of totally disagree.  The couch, yes, I know it.  Oh.  Right.

Okay... so um, apparently, my wife has really fallen for a little 8 year old girl with Cerebral Palsy.

Now, for the sake of transparency, honesty, and hopefully help/encouragement for those in similar positions, I'm going to talk openly about this, and no, it won't be easy:

• Yes, my wife and I have both been introduced to a wonderful little 8 year old girl who needs a Forever Family.
• No, we are not in agreement about adopting her.
• Yes, there is a chance one of us will have a change of heart, prompted by God.
• No, I don't know how this will be reconciled.
• Yes, we are open to other children.
• No, this isn't a "problem" for our family - we've dealt with bigger issues over whether or not to have another child, and if so, which child.
• Yes, there are other children.
• No, I'm not sure adopting out of birth order is the best thing to do.

So yea, what do you do when you disagree on a child?  I mean, if you got pregnant, it is kind of a non-issue.  But this is an issue*.  What about adopting out of birth order?  What about adopting a beautiful little girl who needs a wheel chair when our house has 3 floors, and no ramps?  Gah!  And the list goes on!

Now... when we moved from Winnipeg to Ottawa... we flipped a coin.  We also flipped a coin to decide which house to buy.  Come to think of it, a coin flip has answered many of our questions.  I'm pretty sure it is a biblical method of coming to decisions - I mean, God is the God of Flipped Coins isn't he?  I'm pretty sure had Jesus not given all his money away to the poor and the needy, he too would have flipped a coin to solve many of his dilemmas.  Hmmmm... save Humanity with the redemptive love of Christ by dying the most gruesome death imaginable , or... go to White Castle for some Cheesy Fries and steamed Burgers!  Tough call... tough call...  (some might argue that White Castle IS the most gruesome way to die, and this is an academic argument only)... but you know what I mean.  Back to my point, this is NOT something that I think a coin flip is going to answer...  

But I know that finding the answer is going to be part of the journey to our 2nd adoption...

... and I for one am looking forward to finding out the answer myself.

* == It's only an "issue" to me.  It is NOT an issue to the girl waiting to be adopted.  It is NOT an issue to the wife.  It is NOT an issue to God.  It really is just an issue with me right now.  Right or wrong?  I don't know.  It comes down to "Can I give her the best life possible".  But then you go, "best compared to what?" ... and then it *should* be a NON-ISSUE, because a life with a family *should* be better than a life without a family.  So why is this an issue to me again?  Gah.