Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Special Needs

I've seen a flurry of emails lately about people considering Special Needs (SN) adoptions.
I've posted before about how we love our children "because they are our children, not because they are perfect".
I've posted before that there are no guarantees in life (a perfectly healthy child can develop life threatening illness, loss their mobility, etc).
And all we can do, is really love the ones God has placed in our lives, for as long as God has placed them in our lives.

Take our daughter for example.  She is from the Special Needs Program (China, Waiting Child Program).
Now, if you have not spent much time on our blog... go read some before looking at the pictures below (or try to find one of the couple Dancing Videos!).  You would be hard pressed to even guess as to WHAT her Special Need is... if she had one at all!

According to our Specialist Doctors, our daughter should (probably) be in a wheel chair - she has a pretty severe condition.

Playing at the orphanage, climbing through stuff...

Running, climbing...


Climbing on playground toys

Even started skating this winter

Playing hockey with the big boys!
According to her tests, the Doctor (Neurologist) said with her results, "they would have expected her to be in a wheel chair".  But she runs and plays, and climbs, and crawls... and does everything that a "normal kid" can.  Ma ma was in the Doctors office while the poor Doctor was trying to tell her how severe the condition was... while Ping was climbing up and down on the doctors examination table, and running around the room.  Finally, I think the Doctor gave up trying to "deliver the bad news", and just said "Look, it doesn't make any sense.  Her tests say she should be in a wheel chair, but look at her!  Just look at her!  She is having no problems.  So I will trust what I see, not what the test says.  I can't explain it, but she is fine."  We know its a miracle... but still don't take it for granted.

Don't give up on a child just because they may not match your "ideal" of who (or what) your child should be.

Will Ping always be this agile and mobile, and pain free?  I don't know.  But then again, I don't know if any of my children are going to be this mobile.  To be on the morbid side, I don't know how healthy anyone in my family is going to be, or for how long.  Someone could fall off a horse while riding, and be paralyzed.  I could have a stroke (with 4 kids, this is a VERY real possibility) or a heart attack (and with my wife sometimes I long for one!) and loose body control, or not even have enough energy to play with my children.

So to those who are thinking about adopting, and thinking about Special Needs... do consider it.  But, do read.  Read A-LOT.  Do not go blindly into this.  But then again, do not go blindly into Parenthood... EVER (you've gotta have a plan*!)  :-)

It is not to be taken lightly adopting a child with special needs... however, it is not to be feared either.

And on a spiritual note, I am glad I subscribe to Gods version of what my child should be able to do, or not do, and NOT my Doctors!

* = Of course my "Plan" was just to let my wife do all the hard work.  It was a good plan.  So I thought.  *siiigh*


  1. Beautiful, just beautiful Ade. You and your family have such wonderful spirits and do us all proud. Family is what you make of it and it isn't always perfect, but love is key. I have a very special friend who, although single, decided to become a mom and adopted a Metis boy with FAS. He is such a joy and I love seeing how he completes her.

  2. Great post! Some children come home with MORE needs than expected based on the referral as our little one as done, but that's OKAY as well! She was meant to be our daughter and we will just keep on progressing with her! As you said, there are no guarantees with any of our children. I love Ping's spirit and enthusiasm for life!