Thursday, August 12, 2010

Conversations with a 4 Year Old

I love my conversations with my little Ping.  Oh the tender age of 4!
Such fond memories!  Good times.  Happy!  Joyful!
Yes sir.  It is out of this period of life where we have some of our best conversations with out little ones.

Some/Most of these little conversations are quite funny.

Ping:  It ok to hit bad people.
Me:  Huh?  Wha?
Ping:  It ok to hit bad people.  *big smile*
Me:  Really?
Ping:  Yes.  It ok.  But you have to say... sorry.

Well, on the plus side, she is learning that it is wrong to hit, cuz she said sorry.  But I think there is still some work needed there.  But really, I think she might be more right than I care to admit.  There are times when I feel the same way.

Dear Daughter #1 (DD1):  Daddy!  Daddy!  I love ice cream!
Me:  Oh really?  Thats great baby.
Ping:  I no like ice cream.
Me:  Oh you dont?
Ping:  No.  I no like it.
Me:  Hmmmm.  Why?
Ping:  I don't know.
Me:  Is it because your sister loves it, and you want to be different?
Ping:  Ummmmm, yes.

Ahhhh, struggling for individuality already!  Who knew that after going from 500 siblings to 3 would cause her to feel like she has to fight for her identity.

DD1:  Daddy!  Daddy!  I love you!
Me:  Oh thats nice baby!  I love you too!
DD1:  I love you more!
Me:  No, I love YOU more!
DD1:  I love you to the moon, and China, and Winnipeg, and back!
Me:  Oh, wow.  Thats alot of love... but I still love you more!
Me:  *thinking this is the ice-cream thing again*  Oh, is that because your sister loves me and you want to be different?
Ping:  No.  I just no like you.
Me:  Oh, well, Daddy still loves you!  I love yo ...
Ping:  I say be quiet.
Me:  ...u all the way to China and back, and then some.  Gosh, you're cute.
Ping:  I cute!

But then, recently, she has started talking about China... and asking questions... not the typical 4 year old stuff.  Visiting family in Winnipeg, I think, maybe triggered something in her mind as she started meeting family, and family, and more family...  Anyway, shes working though something now...

Ping:  I from China.
Me:  Yup, you are.  And Daddy is from Flin Flon.  And Mommy is from Calgary...
Ping:  And you and Mommy and Ge Ge come to China and pick me.
Me:  Yes, Mommy and Daddy, and Ge Ge all came to China to bring you home.
Ping:  But no sister.  No brother.
Me:  No, the didn't come.
Ping:  They from Grandmas.
Me:  Well, they were waiting for you at Grandma and Grandpas house.
Ping:  No.  They live Grandmas house.  This (our house) no their home.  This Pings home.
Me:  Its all of our homes.  Mommy, Daddy, Ping and your sister and both brothers!
Ping:  mmmmm... I from China.  My home China.  I have my birthday in China.
Me:  Yes, you had your 4th birthday in China.
Ping:  Den, den, den you come and pick me.
Me:  Yes, then we came, and brought you home.
Ping:  I so mad.
Me:  You were mad?  Why?
Ping:  I so mad.  I wait.  Why you no come soon?
Me:  Ah, well, we came as soon as we could.
Ping:  No, you no come soon!  I four!
Me:  Baby, we love you, and we came as soon as the people would let us.
Ping:  *thinking*  I go back China home?
Me:  No, you live here with us.  With your Mommy and Daddy.  Your home is here, with us.
Ping:  I go back play China?
Me:  Yes, one day, we will go back to visit China.
Ping:  I go back to China.  I happy in China.
Me:  You may go back to China, but I will still be your Daddy, and this will still be your home.
Ping:  Okay.

I can't even begin to image what she is thinking right now.  There is so much to unpack there.  She obviously had friends in the orphanage, and she would remember (maybe not them specifically) having fun and playing.  Maybe she remembers some unhappy things too... but boy, for her to actually start vocalizing that she is missing China.  That is new.

And its hard(er) to hear than I expected.  Again, your wife can read all the books about adoption that you want her to read, but that never really prepares you for the real thing.

Now, do I really think she wants to leave the family and go back to China?  No.

But obviously, there is something in her that is still adjusting... and why not... she's only been with us for 7 months... yet it already feels like FOREVER.  :-)

So jealous of SensFanRob - who surpassed a HUGE milestone in his beautiful daughter now being with them - for longer than without them.  Yay you guys!  Only another 4 years or so, and we will hit that same milestone!  :-)

( SensFanRob and his blog can be found at: )


  1. Ya we are thrilled to have passed that milestone Adrian. Don't you guys will be there before you know it. My motto is "enjoy each and every day, each and every hour, each and every moment, and the milestones will take care of themselves."

    Always happy to share

  2. I think Ping and Grace are so much alike sometimes it scares me. From now on I think you guys should just e-mail me directly and warn me that these types of conversations are around the corner. It might help my heart not to feel like it is on the "Drop of Doom" or some such ride.

  3. SFR: I figured there was a "Worry" missing in there. ;-)

    As for the "Drop of Doom" - I'm pretty sure we're riding the same roller coaster. I think I can hear your husband screaming right behind me! But when it is all done, we're gonna get a cheesy photo of us all with our hands up in the air screaming as we plummet to our doom! We will look back, and forget that the screaming is out of anger, shock, desperation, and hopefully, if senility kicks in as it should, might think we were screaming because it was so much fun. :-)

    Oh, but it IS fun... isn't it. :-)

  4. Adrian, I don't see anything wrong. You want Ping to keep her China experience, you even started learning Chinese. On the other hand, when Ping really talked about her fading China memory. You might feel a little bit lost. No, No. She definitely love you and everybody in the family. I think Ping might feel a little bit lost when she suddenly remembered some of her China days. Meanwhile Ping might feel somewhat language challenge. She started losing her Chinese while her English is not good enough to express herself. I can see she was using Chinese grammar to build English sentence.
    Anyway, in the end, it is a happy, forever family.