She however, was not surprised to see me.
"Daddy, why didn't you read to me tonight?", she asked.
What a sweet sweet question. But one of the types of questions that break your heart. It really didn't matter WHY I hand not read to her, it simply mattered that I HAD NOT. She had gotten a couple new books from the library, and I read one last-last night, and the other was to be read last night because Daddy said he would read it. She remembered this.
Even at 3:30am, waking up from a dead sleep, she remember this.
She was actually still in my spot on our bed waiting for me.
Wow. How the little ones remember what we say and what we do. I will be reading her a few bedtime stories tonight. :-)
But it also makes me wonder, what kind of things were said to our daughter Ping which were never followed through on? Is she still waiting for a Daddy to come read her a bed time story... or has she given up on waiting? And maybe more importantly, which things were NOT said to our daughter Ping. Has there been people to tell he that she is loved, that she is beautiful and perfect? What about the unspoken belief that she may hold, that a parent should never abandon their child? Is that still on her mind...
If my Kid #3 lays in wait until 3:30am for a story, what is Ping waiting for?
I don't doubt that Chinese parents "love" their children, as I know our daughter's foster mom definately loved her by her expressions in her letters.
ReplyDeleteBut from my understanding the word "love or ayi" is not generally said to children or family members. And it's also customary to say negative things about the child to "ward" off bad spirits.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that maybe Ping hasn't heard these "words" because she is being raised in a different culture. It's just a reminder to try and not place our cultural values and expectations on the sitution.
PS - Looking forward to following your trip to China on the blog.
Aw. Adrian, you KNOW that Jesus has been with her ALL of this time. And I know in the back of your mind, you are going - not good enough - I would be. She is loved. And her 'void' can not be filled by books or even a Dada's hug. These things will be the manifestation of a father's heart. But right now, we HAVE to believe that God is filling her little and precious heart with hope and love and peace.
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