Friday, August 14, 2009

I feel Sorry for the Beautiful People

NOTE: If you do have a child who has any physical ailments, please don't take this post the wrong way. My wife and I are open to adopt many many different physical issues, and for myself, I really struggled to come to terms with some of those different choices... missing digits, missing limbs, blindness, etc. And it was during this period of struggle that I really re-defined how I evaluate beauty. Right or wrong, I (attempt) to use humor to convey some of the new thought processes... hopefully this helps people re-evaluate how we see people who "deviate from the normal".

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder, yet Love is Blind... so where does that leave us?

I feel sorry for the beautiful people. And I'll tell you why... because they are all messed up, they just don't realize it.

This ties in loosely with the whole 'Waiting Child' topic a bit ago. What do you do with your child who may have a cleft lip? Or who may walk with a limp because of clubbed feet? Or anything else like that. Some times, maybe we worry that we would have a hard(er) time to love people who are not "perfect" (we are all perfect, right? Goodness knows, we all try to convince each other that we are).

On my previous "venting of my spleen" on this topic, it dawned on me that we will love our children, not because they are perfect, but simply because they are our children.

Deep and noble, thought I.

But this morning, it dawned on me, that I already am able to love those who may have existing physical ailments... In fact, happily, we all do this everyday!

I'll unpack this in a little more detail quickly... Firstly, start by thinking of someone who you find just strikingly beautiful! I don't care who it is, who ever you find absolutely stunning... your wife may care who that is... but I don't ( I'm not going to judge you). Now, you have that person firmly in your mind?

Quick, what is it that makes them beautiful!

Was it something like: pretty eyes, beautiful smile, great legs... lots of money?

Now, ask yourself, why do these people's features standout? They stand out and are noticed because their physical appearances "deviates from the normal" so drastically, that you can't help but notice them walking down the street!

So just like a child with a cleft lip may stand out because their smile "deviates from the normal", the same rules and logic can be applied to people like me, or you know, Angelina Jolie... we simply "deviate from the normal".

They (me) just happen to have deviations which we, as society, seem to favor. Big eyes, long legs, tiny little waists... what have you (in my case, a manly rough and ruggedness which can't be beat).

That makes me really sad... yet happy at the same time.

Sad that we judge so heavily on the physical appearance, yet miss all the cliches about beauty being on the inside...
... and yet happy, because if I can find Angelina Jolie beautiful (as far as she deviates from the norm), then I can find anyone beautiful!

So the next time you see some "beautiful" person walking down the street, I hope your heart breaks for them... they don't even know how messed up they are...

And if you see someone else who deviates from the norm, well, maybe we should tell them how beautiful they really are...

... unless they are a stranger,
... and you don't know them,
... then you might get arrested,
... and that would be bad.

And if you happen to have someone in your life who deviates from the normal, then how blessed are you to have such a beautiful person in your life!

1 comment:

  1. I suppose the question begs to be asked....what is normal?

    On seeing the photo of my daughter for the first time, my niece said, "Cool! She's so unique and unique means special."

    But you are very right. Q is not perfect. I am not. My children and husband (though he would argue the point) are not. We are, however, all perfectly lovable!

    Great post...and funny. You do always make me laugh.