Main Entry: vul·ner·a·ble
Pronunciation: \ˈvəl-n(ə-)rə-bəl, ˈvəl-nər-bəl\
Etymology: Late Latin vulnerabilis, from Latin vulnerare to wound, from vulner-, vulnus wound; probably akin to Latin vellere to pluck, Greek oulē wound
1 : capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
2 : open to attack or damage : assailable
3 : liable to increased penalties but entitled to increased bonuses after winning a game in contract bridge
As I sat at home thinking about how much to share and how open to be during this whole blogging experiment, it hit me just how vulnerable it can make one feel.
As a father and husband, there is a certain level of protection that I always wish to keep around my family. The children are reduced to Kid #1/2/3 in the blog. My lovely wife is simply, Wife.
Why is that? Am I really that afraid of posting their names? As if some how that is opening them (or myself) up to a vulnerable position?
And yes. It does feel that way.
So as I sit there, in my little stew of contemplation, lamenting this feeling of vulnerability that I am trying to over-come, my thoughts return (as they often do) to our new daughter who is waiting in an orphanage in China right now.
What vulnerabilities has she faced over the last 3.5 years?
Has she ever felt safe?
I worry if someone is going to pick up on the names of my children...
... she worries she may never have a parent?
And it breaks our hearts as parents!
When my children go though a rough time at school, if someone is mean to them, hurts them, or makes them feel scared (vulnerable?) - doesn't that just fill you with so much "want" to fix the situation? To just rush to their defense and "save" them?
Sometimes you can...
... sometimes you can not.
Today, I can not. And I'm not sure that I'm OK with that.
As Ping sleeps now, what will tomorrow hold for her?
I'm sure that whatever it is, it is bigger than if anyone reading this finds out what my children names are.