Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Death Trap Water Park

As mentioned in the previous blog, me and Mr Snuggles spent the day at a local water park.  I shall henceforth refer to this water park as "Death Trap Water Park*!"

Entering the Death Trap Water Park
Oh sure, it looks nice and inviting...

Little do people know the dangers lurking!

Not because of the construction quality.  Despite the fact that every time I climbed the stairs to the water slides, there was at least one section I could feel bending and strainging under my girthly North American frame... this is not what earned it the label of Death Trap Water Park.

Huuuuuge wave pool!
It was not because of the entropy which had taken place over the years of operation.  True that at any given ride, only about 3 or 4 out of the 5 features would be working.  They ever so cleverly painted the whole structure in rust camoflague - so it was hard to tell where the painting ended, and the rust began.  But alas, this is not what earned it the label of Death Trap Water Park.

It was not the food from the "Rainforrest Restaurant", (althought probably should have earned it the title of Death Trap Water Park) which earned it the title...

The Rainforrest Restaurant in the background


Eating at the RainforrestRestaurant



It was the bottom of the water slides themselves.  The water slides did not empty with a drop into a 2 or 3 foot deep pool of water.  No no, these water slides simply ended in a trough... with oh, I donno, maybe 18 inches of water in it?  Maybe.  Probably more like 12 inches of water... about 1/2 my chin height.  My son could easily stand up and walk around in there while he climbed out.

You can see a run off trough in this photo - see how the water doesnt even reach the knees of the woman walking?
But I don't know how many fully grown 40 year old men I saw almost DIE in there!

Adult male after adult male came barrelling down the water slide, only to hit this trough of water at the bottom... and start to drown.

Legs would go flying straight up in the air.

The arms would be flailing around frantically.

The poor disinterested life gruards would have to jump down from their high liftguarding seats while someone in the back ground started the Baywatch theme song on the loud speakers!  The life guard would sprint in slow motion to save the struggling swimmer from the mighty undertowes of the water slide...

The life guards would have to reach down into the 12 inches of water and somehow manage to pry these flailing men out of the water.

I'm not kidding, it was *really* shallow...


In one case, the guy was thrashing around so hard that he kept knocking the life guard off, and it took him 2 or 3 tries to succesfully get this guy out of the water.   When the father came out of the water, he was coughing up water and staggering around, rather dissorientated.  I am pretty convinced had the life guard not interviened, that that man would have actually drowned...

... in 12 inches of water...

... on a kiddie slide.

The kiddie zone where the adults were almost drowning


These were not even the big adult slides!  Those were safely tucked away at the far side of the park, where most people could not find them.

Had these kiddie slides actually dropped these poor men into 2 or 3 feet of water, the mortality rate would have been through the roof!

I know it's not funny... but I could not help but laugh as I watch these horrifically out of shape 40 year olds struggle life and death to make it out of 12 inches of water... thier feet sticking straight up in the air... and never one did it occur to them, "maybe if I lower my legs, I could just sit up?".  Just calm down... lower the legs a little... sit up, and take a breath.

Instead, they were trying to contourt themselves into some masochistic V shape as they try in vein to raise thier upper torse straight out of the water, while mainting thier impressive leg extenstions straight upwards as well.

It should be a simple manouver... I mean, most kids could make it out unscathed...  any child who has played a little rough and tumbly would understand this.  I guess maybe these adults have never played before.

But, before I laugh too hard at these men who looked death in the eyes and narrowly survived... I should take a look at my own life, and make sure I'm not stuck in 12 inches of water somewhere with my legs straigth up in the air drowning.  Cuz, that would suck... and be so embarrasing.

In my previous blog, someone left a comment with some good advice, who went by the alias "D".  So I'm guessing it is either my "D"ad, or my old Wrapped In Baccon Bear Wrestling Coach, Danger Dan.  But he probably would have used DD as an alias, but the only good advice DD ever gave me was "don't let the bear eat you".  Which is sage advice.  Don't get me wrong.  That advice had saved my life on more than 1 occasion.

But something about the comment reminded me of what my father would say...

"I see him [Mr Snuggles] as a little sprout, pushing through 3 inch of blacktop above him. What ever you do, don't make that top thicker."

It's really that simple.  My job, as always is not to heal my child... I can't.
I can not fix my child.
I can not heal my child.
I can only love my child, and give him the grace and love he needs to grow and break through all that blacktop above him.
And if there is anyone who has the intensity to break through that much blacktop... it would be my Mr. Snuggles.

Mr. Snuggles really doesn't need me to add blacktop to the road... all I need to do, it not add more.  Maybe it is that simple.

So maybe I should just calm down... lower my legs a little... sit up, and take a breath.  Give him the time, love and grace that he needs to grow.

Thanks Dad.

* It really IS a lovely park!  Although I'm making fun of it in places, it is really really nice!  Can not wait to go back!